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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319366">Cruel Resurrection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillieGranger_Agreste726/pseuds/LillieGranger_Agreste726'>LillieGranger_Agreste726</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fix-It, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:41:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,656</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillieGranger_Agreste726/pseuds/LillieGranger_Agreste726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year since the end of War Storm. One fateful night Mare finally meets Cal again and the two quickly reconnect. But then she comes home to find one boy who could ruin everything. Thomas, who's just come back from the dead and is acting very suspicious. Rated M because there's stabbing and blood and I just want to be safe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mare Barrow/Tiberias "Cal" Calore VII, Maven Calore/Thomas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A for Advantage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mare was sitting at her new home in Montfort. The rest of her family were getting ready to leave for their various jobs, Gisa finishing the stitching on one of her silk scarves, just about managing with her only recently healed hand, her father getting his papers ready for his job as a history teacher aided by her mother who would drop him off on the way to her flower shop. And then there was Mare, who was currently jobless. She was searching of course, she never wanted to have to steal ever again, but it seemed no one wanted to employ the girl who had started a revolution and brought about the end of the Monarchy. She welled up a bit when she thought about everything that had happened because of the royal family. Because of them, she'd had her heart broken. Because of them, she'd become a murderer. Because of them, her life had been completely uprooted and would never be the same again. And she missed Cal.</p><p>"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Farley said, bouncing Clara on her lap. Farley came and went as she pleased and had decided to stay for the week. Sometimes it hurt, Clara looked more and more like Shade everyday, but today Mare welcomed the distraction.</p><p>"No. Of course not." Mare lied.</p><p>"You know what one of the best things about being captain was?" Farley smiled, leaning forward in her seat, "I learnt how to tell when people were lying. And you, Mare, are lying."</p><p>"Whatever. I'm going out."</p><p>The house was beginning to suffocate her, each memory or thought of Cal bringing the walls closer in, trapping her, encasing her in her own mind. Had she made a mistake leaving him in Norta? She trusted Cal but she couldn't blame him if he moved on and forgot all about her. She was the one who decided to leave after all. Yet a selfish part of her wanted him to never find anyone else and drop everything to be with her again. It was a stupid thought but she still clung on to that naïve hope.</p><p>Mare slid out of her seat, glanced one last time at Clara and slammed the door. Shutting it all out, she wandered the streets visiting the city fountain, the library, even the market where the smells mixed wonderfully in the air. Anything that took her mind off the events of the past year. It was well into the afternoon, after the lunch rush had died down, when she started noticing people being careless with their belongings, leaving money, watches, bracelets and the like in easy to reach places. As much as she told herself not to, she soon fell back into old habits. It was simply too easy. The people in Montfort were much less cautious than they were in Norta and she couldn't resist such easy pickings. A watch here, a wallet there, each time she told herself would be the last but she found she was unable to stop. Too soon, the Sun grew tired and started to sink below the horizon, painting the sky all shades of red, orange, purple, pink and blue, bringing an end to her little game. Thinking she might lift her spirits with alcohol, Mare decided to go to the tavern. Her feet trudged along the floor as she made her way towards the bar and ordered a drink with the freshly stolen money. When the drink was finally placed on the counter, Mare spun around and watched the people in the room, looking for more easy targets. It wasn't long before she spotted a wallet hanging loose in a man's trouser pockets. Not really paying attention to what she was doing, being driven purely by instinct and habit, she inched her way towards him and reached. There was only one time she'd ever been caught and she'd made the same mistake now as she did that fateful night when her old life had caved in. She tried to steal from the King, or now ex-King, of Norta.</p><p>"Thief." It was Cal. His burning eyes met hers and she could feel his grip on her arm slowly heating up. His warm touch jolted her awake. The familiarity of it all should have been a comfort but she was too shocked to melt into it like she used to do.</p><p>"Obviously." Mare didn't know what else to say. She peered down at her outstretched hand, poised to take his wallet. It didn't escape Mare's notice the irony of meeting him again like this. It also didn't escape Mare's notice that he deliberately kept his hand around her forearm rather than her wrist. So Cal remembered her whole ordeal with Maven and the Silent Stone manacles. The screams at night, the shudders if he went anywhere near her wrists, the fear in her eyes for months afterward. He'd seen her in her darkest moments and yet he still loved and cared for her. It was the least she could do to love him back. And thus, she resolved to let her heart out of its cage one last time.</p><p>"Not getting back into old habits I hope?" he raised an eyebrow, trying to lift the tone.</p><p>"Well in my defence, this has only happened once before." she joked back.</p><p>Cal then did something he hadn't done in ages, he laughed, a sound that filled the room and reverberated off of the walls and Mare would have been lying if she said that it didn't make her happy to her very core to hear that beautiful sound again. The two young adults finished their drinks and rushed to escape the confines of the tavern. The paved cobblestones lit by lanterns gleamed underneath their feet as they danced, suddenly being brought back to that magical evening where Cal had given her her very first lesson. They both hummed their song, the tune holding so much meaning for both of them. They had been through so much together but something still weighed on Mare's mind.</p><p>"I didn't think you'd ever come back. I thought maybe you'd forgotten about me, moved on even."</p><p>Cal lifted her face to meet her eyes so he could reply.</p><p>"Never. I know we agreed that we both needed time, you to be with your family and me sorting out the situation in Norta, but it's been more than enough time for me, and if you don't want me back I would understand but," he said bringing Mare closer to him. "I can't deny that being away from you for so long was killing me. I've missed my lightning girl."</p><p>"I missed you too Cal. Does this mean… does this mean you're staying for good?" she couldn't help asking.</p><p>"Do you want me to?"</p><p>"Well I wouldn't be completely against it." Mare chuckled.</p><p>His face flushed white, a silver blush. Mare followed it with her fingers, teasing, making Cal go even paler. It really was too much fun. A mischievous grin was all the warning he got before she tackled him to the ground. Pinning him down she whispered in his ear, "Well that was too easy. You know, you always did get too easily distracted. Now let's see if you remember your own lessons. Who has the advantage?" She knew the words would bring a smile to his face.</p><p>"I do." smirked Cal.</p><p>"And how is that?" Mare asked quizically.</p><p>"Because you forget, I'm stronger, taller, more experienced than you and," Cal grinned, pushing her off with ease and reversing their previous roles, "you had a terrible grip. I must say, I thought I taught you better than that."</p><p>"Oh shut up." Mare kissed him.</p><p>Their first kiss in almost a year, bringing back bittersweet memories. The Bowl of Bones, the many betrayals, people they loved dying before them, everything that should have ripped them apart (and almost did) just brought them closer together. Eventually Mare knew she had to pull away because Cal sure wasn't going to. Their lips reluctantly separated. The rest of the night was spent showing Cal her favourite places in the city, safe havens where she could escape her thoughts for some time. He took them in with keen interest. It was late into the night before she stumbled into her home with Cal in tow.</p><p>Surprisingly, the lights were still on. Then she saw the reason. On the couch there sat a boy, probably not much older than her. Instinctively she summoned her lightning but Cal rested a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"Mare wait. I recognise him." He turned to the boy. "Thomas, isn't it? I'll admit you look a bit different than the last time I saw you but it'd be impossible to forget…" he trailed off. Mare gulped. Maven had talked about a Thomas, she vaguely remembered the distant past sitting at a dining table while she was his prisoner, just the two of them alone, a dog and her cruel master trying to gain sympathy, feigning vulnerability to trick her into feeling sorry for him. And it had worked. For a while at least. Mare remembered the agony in his voice, the sorrow. Maven, it stung to even think his name, had loved Thomas. And more importantly, had thought him dead. But there was no doubt that the boy sitting on her couch was alive and breathing, healthy as a fish in water. The question was why.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. M for Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A massive thank you to everyone who's following the story. I decided to tell chapter 2 from different POVs so tell me if you prefer it or want me to write the third chapter more like the first. Hope you enjoy the second chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mare POV</p>
<p>"Your brother's lover yes, you can say it you know Cal. And you must be Mare, Maven's told me all about you." He smiled. I feel the bile rising in my throat. But how? How could Maven have spoken to him? Thomas died before Maven met me. Well "died". He certainly wasn't dead now.</p>
<p>"Hi, yes, I am Mare. Not to be rude or anything but how are you here? I thought you were, you know, dead." It's embarrassing to even say the words out loud but there's no way to put it politely.</p>
<p>"I was. But I'm a, what are we calling ourselves these days, newbloods is it? Yes I'm a newblood with the power to resurrect the dead. I found out when I brought my pet dog back to life by accident, pretty intense if you ask me. Anyway when Maven burnt down the building I was trapped in, which was not fun I can tell you, I came back to life. It seems my powers make me incapable of dying too. I didn't want to return to the war so I decided to slip away and enjoy not being conscripted. I left Maven plenty of clues to come find me but I can't say he loved me enough to actually follow them." The boy smiled wistfully.</p>
<p>"No he loved you alright. He thought you were dead and it corrupted him." I show him the branded M on my skin, "This is what you turned him into." Anger is the only emotion I can feel. It's all his fault, Maven became the way he did because of Thomas, who is now trying to explain himself.</p>
<p>"That was never my intention. The way he used to be, I would never have thought him capable of any evil. But I guess I was wrong. My powers also allow me to travel to the land of the dead, it's a painful experience so I do it sparingly but when I heard that you killed him I had to, had to see for myself. When I found him I barely recognised him; he had so much hate in his eyes, so much pain."</p>
<p>I can't stomach it and run out the room. Cal follows me closely.</p>
<p>"Mare look at me. I'm here, everything is going to be fine." I want that to be enough to make everything ok again but it's not. It will never be fully ok.</p>
<p>"Cal, every time I look at Thomas I can only think of him. I'm not sure whether I can take it." I plead with him, hoping he'll understand. And of course he does.</p>
<p>"I know… Maven… hurt you in every way possible but Thomas isn't him. We need to give Thomas a chance, he's innocent in all of this. He's a newblood just like you." I notice Cal struggles, just like I do, to say Maven's name.</p>
<p>"I know that but I can't talk to him. I think I need a few minutes." I look into his eyes.</p>
<p>I'm suddenly aware we're standing very close to each other. It would be so easy to kiss Cal and let everything else melt away. He senses it too. My brain tells my heart that I shouldn't fall into the trap I fell into ages ago but I've had the time I needed to figure out what my heart wants and my heart wants Cal. There is no doubt that I love him and I want to grow old with him, maybe even have kids. Maybe. There's a lot of fractures in our relationship that need mending before I can even think of that but the time for being apart, at least, is over.</p>
<p>"Of course, I'll talk to him first, just come back in when you feel you're ready. I love you." He takes my hand in his, gives it a gentle kiss and before I get the chance to say it in return, he's gone back inside. I sit on the floor and begin plucking up enough courage to face Thomas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cal POV</p>
<p>"I knew I was ugly but I didn't know the sight of me would make Mare retch." Thomas laughs as I enter the room.</p>
<p>"You know very well that's not the reason she's retching. Do you have any idea what my traitor of a supposed brother did to her? He's all she thinks about when she sees you. But I'm not here to talk about that, we're both trying to get over it, not relive it. I want to know why you came looking for us." My words are matter-of-fact, lack any warmth and with their aid I turn into the general, the King I once was. I never really knew Thomas, I only saw him on the frontlines with… Maven. However, when he 'died' it wasn't hard to guess that my brother had had feelings for him. My mind drifts as the memory of that dreadful day slowly creeps in. Thomas' reply brings me back to the conversation I was trying to have. Well. It's more of an interrogation.</p>
<p>"The truth? Because I've no one to turn to. No family, no friends, I just want to be with people who understand what I'm going through. All I'm asking is that you give me a chance to be your friend. What do you say?"</p>
<p>"A friend?"</p>
<p>I'm shocked. No one has ever wanted to be my friend. People respected me and listened to me certainly but only Mare had ever bothered to get to know me. She was the only one who truly did, apart from Maven of course but then he was my brother. And even Mare is so much more than just a friend. We've been through so much together, even betrayed one another on multiple occasions but that will not be repeated. I want to leave it in the past where it belongs and focus on getting our relationship right this time around. I look back at Thomas, I can see he's been through similar pain to me, having a loved one who you trusted turn into a monster before your very eyes until you don't recognise them, it changes you. We have a moment of mutual understanding.</p>
<p>"Yes, and if you don't mind me saying I think you need one as much as I do." Says Thomas. I can see in his eyes that he is so incredibly lonely but I can't say yes if it means hurting Mare.</p>
<p>"It all depends on Mare. I don't want her to hurt every time she sees you because she's thinking of him." I decide to tell Thomas.</p>
<p>"Well that's fair. How about I let you sleep on it and be on my way, I don't want to outstay my welcome after all." He claps his hands, "Now where do you suggest I should stay for the night?"</p>
<p>"There's an inn, just up the road then take a right. I suppose I'll see you tomorrow?"</p>
<p>Thomas gives a cheeky, conspirational wink.</p>
<p>"Might be a bit longer than that. Need to give Mare a chance to get enough sick bags before I show my face again I think."</p>
<p>With those words he goes on his way, the door creaks behind him and his footsteps diminish into nothingness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mare POV</p>
<p>I hear the sound of the door shutting. Praying that means Thomas has left, I cautiously creep around the corner.</p>
<p>"He's gone, won't be back for a while." Cal says to me, leaning against a wall. In that second, relief is all I know and I'm thankful for the time I've been given to prepare, to pluck up enough courage to face my demons once again. Then my attention diverts to Cal. His sleeves are rolled up and the top button of his shirt is undone. I find myself flushing scarlet and am very glad for the pleasant distraction. But I push those thoughts away. The relationships that burn with the brightest flame burn out fastest after all. I was lucky enough to be given a second chance, I can't rush in and ruin it because then there would be no hope for a recovery, however tempting it is to just escape from the crazy night this has turned into. I redirect my focus to the much less distracting wall.</p>
<p>"Thank goodness. And thank you, for understanding." I manage to say to him. He smiles and lights the candles in the room using his powers, which fills me with delight and he knows it.</p>
<p>"Thomas wanted us to be his friends. I told him I'd ask you first because I don't want to if it's going to hurt you."</p>
<p>It had never occurred to me how lonely Cal might be. He has no one he can call a friend, no one to lean on except me. If Thomas wants to be his friend then I have no right to be selfish and deny him that. I'm touched that his first thoughts were of me but I can deal with seeing Thomas, seeing… Maven in everything Thomas does, if it means Cal will be happier.</p>
<p>"It won't. I know I'm being unfair on him. He's offering his friendship Cal, don't refuse it for my sake. I'll be fine, it's just a lot to take in with you coming back and then he suddenly appears and then it turns out he's basically immortal. I promise I'll be ok, it's just been a crazy night."</p>
<p>"It certainly has. Do you want to play chess or something to take our mind off of it?" He offers. The thought of being cuddled up to Cal on a couch playing games is very enticing. I could never resist such an offer, especially since Cal is worryingly out of practice, so I agree.</p>
<p>"Yeah I can't imagine you've had much time for chess recently, what with sorting out the future of the Kingdom. At least you don't have to worry about that anymore." I inch towards him, he takes my head in his hands and gives out a low chuckle.</p>
<p>"No I suppose I don't."</p>
<p>Once again, I kiss him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thomas POV</p>
<p>I don't go to the inn Cal directed me to. Instead I turn into the forest and run, deep into it until I'm sure no one can find me. The darkness swallows everything and the wind shrieks its symphony of agony. If it were up to me, I would have lived out my life in the hills, away from the world. I'd happily forget everything and enjoy a peaceful life. I envy Mare. She got to escape Maven. But he never left me. He never let me go. Even when I thought I was rid of him, he was still there, waiting. The promise I made to him rings in my head.</p>
<p>"Do you promise to save me if the worst should happen Tommy?"</p>
<p>"Of course Maven, you know I'd do anything for you, I love you."</p>
<p>Stupid boy, making promises to monsters. But how could I have known what he was? We were almost children then, so innocent and in love. Who could resist? He'd manipulated me and I'd enjoyed every minute of it. And I think that's why we were a perfect match. We enjoyed the other's twisted games. Well, Maven would be the one controlling the game but I was more than happy to be his puppet. That's the closest thing Maven could get to love. I know that now and yet it works for me. I'm his loyal servant, ready to put in blood, sweat and tears to please him. Exactly what I'm doing now. I unsheathe the knife which fits so perfectly in my hand and I let myself have just this moment, delaying the inevitable pain for as long as possible. Yet my love for Maven is stronger than my will to survive and I use it as a tool to drive the knife into my heart. It hurts a lot more than I remember.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. C for Cage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thomas POV</p><p>"Hello Tommy."</p><p>The nickname gets my spine tingling. My back is towards him and I hear his tentative steps coming closer. Soon his breath is on my neck and then so are his lips, but he doesn't give me time to enjoy it. It's Maven, of course he delights in pleasantly torturing me.</p><p>"Everything's in place and ready." I tell him, hoping he'll reward me with another kiss. He does and I melt into it. He's my addiction, my everything. The seconds his lips are on mine are too short but that's how Maven keeps me hooked. Here in the land of the dead nothing can be heard except for the sound of our voices against a harsh backdrop of silence.</p><p>"I'm sorry you have to endure such pain to get here," He caresses my face and presses a finger to where I stabbed myself, his eyes gazing at it in morbid curiosity, "but you understand that if this works, we can be together until we grow old living a peaceful life in the mountains and you'll never have to bring a knife to your heart ever again." The fantasy he paints is just another one of his games, like a child might play pretend, but it still does its job of drawing me in, of solidifying my undying loyalty to Maven. A part of me wants to believe every word but I know this boy and I know he's much too ambitious, much too broken to be content with living a quiet, peaceful life. He wants the world and knows I will bend over backwards to give it to him because it's what I want myself. To grow old with each other. The familiar pain clenches at my chest, the pain of knowing that we never got to, and never will.</p><p>"That would be great, except for the fact that you know that's never going to happen, Maven." In these words I tell him I know what game he's playing and he has to stop. He gets the message.</p><p>"Alas this is true but, you will rule by my side which I believe is the better option."</p><p>"As long as I get to be with you." I tell him.</p><p>"That is a given. I would never part with you again." His gaze pierces my eyes. This I believe.</p><p>"You can't keep me as a prisoner though. I'm not Mare, you don't need to force me to stay."</p><p>Hurt plays out on his face. Oh Maven, what did your mother do to you? Mare had become his obsession but what he felt for her wasn't love, even he knew that. And yet he'd fought tooth and claw to keep her locked in his guilded cage, a cage I was now willingly entering, all because his mother had tried to wipe me away from his mind all those years ago. Mare was right, my death had ruined him. Maven had certainly changed that day, and I did partly feel guilty, but no one seemed to understand that he was slightly twisted before even then. It was Cal who started it. Maven had always been envious and inferior (at least in his eyes) to his older brother and that was what kick-started his descent into the monster he became.</p><p>"You remember the plan?"</p><p>I nod.</p><p>"Good. Then we will execute it as soon as your body heals."</p><p>"That may take a while." I edge him towards the words I want to hear.</p><p>"Well I can think of a few things to keep us occupied, with your permission of course, Tommy."</p><p> </p><p>Mare POV</p><p>"Morning." Gisa sits at the edge of my bed, which also happens to have Cal in it. I realise how much I missed sharing a bed with him and the familiar comfort his presence brought. Even as Gisa smirks, I can't bring myself to feel embarrassed. It's not like I've slept with him in that way. At least not for a year or so.</p><p>"Morning Gisa, do you mind?" I ask pointedly.</p><p>"Not at all. Mum and Dad wanted me to tell you they made breakfast. Should I tell them to set an extra place at the table?"</p><p>She smiles. So annoyingly.</p><p>"This," I gesture to Cal still sleeping, "is not what it looks like. And Mum and Dad should know that so yes, Cal and I will be down for breakfast as soon as he wakes up. Which I wouldn't hold my breath for." Next to me, Cal snores in the most undignified way and Gisa and I let out a giggle.</p><p>"Alright I'll leave you two alone." She says, leaving the room, peering one last time at Cal before she tries to stifle another laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Cal POV</p><p>I wake up and see Mare at the edge of the bed. Last night was the first time I had played chess since… Maven and I had our nightly games, before he had turned his back on me and stabbed mine. My heart clenches at the pain but then I remember how wonderful it was to be with Mare again. She turns around, slightly startled, when I say, "Good morning."</p><p>And then her face lights up.</p><p>"You're awake!"</p><p>"I am."</p><p>"My parents made us breakfast and Gisa seems to be under the impression that we slept together."</p><p>"Hmmm what a ludicrous suggestion." I decide to attempt flirting. I wonder what she thinks about the prospect of us possibly actually sleeping together again. It's much too soon of course but eventually perhaps… I do not let my mind stray further. We must take this slowly as one wrong move in the wrong direction could destroy everything I've fought so hard to get back. Mare knows it too, I saw it last night in her eyes. She raises an eyebrow. Apparently I'm as bad at flirting as I am keeping a crown on my head. That's probably not the best thing to think about while I meet her family again for the first time in ages. I never feel heat but suddenly it gets very warm in the room.</p><p>"Cal, are you ok? You look like you might throw up." Mare stares at me, worry twisting her face. I'm suddenly feeling nervous. I've never been this scared before, not even when Maven (it's getting easier to think his name without feeling the pangs of hurt in my chest) forced me to kill my father and put me in the Bowl of Bones or when he ripped the jet out from the sky and stole the love of my life. Not even that could compare to the fear I feel at the thought of seeing Mare's parents again. After everything, how could I face them? I broke their daughter's heart and made promises I couldn't keep and-</p><p>The familiar feel of her hands on my face stops my thoughts escalating into a whirlwind of sadness and regret.</p><p>"Don't tell me you're scared of the Barrows?" She laughs, the most wonderful sound, "After everything you've done and this is what scares you?"</p><p>It's true, I am a general, an ex-King. I've commanded armies in the most treacherous war zones, escaped death on infinite occasions when it seemed all hope was lost. The family of the girl I love should not scare me. No. They terrify me.</p><p>"Can you blame me for being slightly nervous?" It's an understatement but no one needs to know that, "I'm surprised they didn't come after me with a knife as soon as they heard I was back. I broke your heart, I didn't give Reds the justice they deserved, the idea that they could easily forgive that is inconceivable." Mare just shakes her head in disbelief.</p><p>"If we're going to let this relationship go on, and I want us to, you'll be part of the family. That's not something they have control over or I can help. I love you Cal and it's time the Barrows learnt what that means."</p><p>Her jaw is set and her eyes narrowed as if she's willing to fight anyone who says a word against me. She's so stubborn but then again, that's just one of the reasons I fell in love with her.</p><p>It feels like a lifetime, crawling out of the bed and slipping on some clothes and each step I take towards the kitchen door feels clunky and awkward. Mare gives my hand an encouraging squeeze which settles the butterflies in my stomach but my hands are still uncomfortably sweaty. When did I get like this, so unsure of myself? But I know the answer. About the same time I met the girl standing opposite me right now. I breathe in one last breath and let her lead me inside, into the lion's den. The smell of toast makes me suddenly very hungry and I realise I haven't eaten since the day before yesterday. It smells better than anything they made at Whitefire and the butterflies in my stomach turn into a wolf, growling for food. But before I can eat, I need to answer to Mare's family. They all stand with their arms crossed, eyeing me, surveying me like I used to do when I was trying to anticipate a person's next move in a fight. It only unsettles me briefly before I give a respectful smile and open my mouth.</p><p>"I would like to thank you for your hospitality."</p><p>Her father, Daniel, just looks at me, his eyes crinkling in what appears to be a smile while her mother takes my words in for a second, chewing them over until I hear her voice say, "That's quite alright dear, after everything you've done for us and people like us, it's the least we could do for you." Then Mare's father, "Yes, breakfast is the least you deserve for putting an end to conscription and bringing in fair wages for Reds."</p><p>"But surely you're angry that I didn't end the Monarchy? Others had to end it for me. I did nothing."</p><p>"But look at what you created! This new world may be in a precarious state but no one can deny it's better than it was back before everything started. I'd hardly call that nothing my boy!"</p><p>Mare interjects.</p><p>"Cal, what you did meant everything to me, to people like us. Was it enough to have perfect equality between silvers and reds? Of course not. But it wasn't nothing, don't you dare say you did nothing. I fell in love with the flame, not the shadow."</p><p>She knows what those words mean to me. We both know who the shadow is. Everything Mare feels is summed up in that one sentence. A distant memory rises up from the surface, my traitor brother looking through the bars on our cell at the Bowl of Bones, looking at her as if she could ever be his, asking her to make a choice. She chose no one then but time has changed her answer because in the end, she did make a choice. Me. I'm surprised she said something so personal in front of her parents. The change in mood gets dangerously dark which is why I think her father then says, "You must be starving, please eat."</p><p>They don't need to tell me twice. As politely as I can, I shovel the food into my mouth. It's the most divine thing I've had in a while but the words that have so kindly been said to me mull over in my mind. The newly formed Government is in a delicate position and the possibility of uprising and riots is much too high for anyone to say that I've created a better society. The most I can say is I've made the beginnings of one. Barely.</p><p>I muse into my mind's more palettable thoughts including Mare. She believed in me, which was surprising considering I thought she couldn't bare to look at me again after I said I wouldn't get rid of the Monarchy. I must remember to ask what changed her mind.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. B for Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mare POV</p><p>"There, was that so bad?" I put a hand to Cal's cheek. It breaks my heart that he thinks what he did didn't mean anything. It meant the world. When he first sat on his throne and declared fair wages for Reds, I was angry because he had promised more but looking back, it was more than any other King had done so now I'm calm. It took a while of course, one of the reasons I wanted to be away from him was because I thought that he hadn't done enough but now it seems our roles are reversed. He's starting to feel just as I did, wishing he'd done more. But if he had, we wouldn't have won against the Lakelanders and that didn't bear thinking about. If only he'd see that. Cal takes my hand in his and replies.</p><p>"No. It wasn't." There's a pause and the tension rises as he takes a deep breath. "You hated me for not enforcing perfect equality between Reds and Silvers, what changed?"</p><p>"I got perspective."</p><p>It's the truth but he doesn't seem satisfied with the answer.</p><p>"You're telling me we were apart for a whole year just so you could get 'perspective'?"</p><p>He spits the word out like poison and it cuts deep. I don't want to fight him. I thought we were getting better and maybe we are but it's getting clearer and clearer the amount of work that's going to need to be put in for us to be ok again. I just hope our love for each other isn't so fragile it'll break with our first fight. Which will not be today. I couldn't bear to argue with him, especially when it's obvious Cal is hurting. I can't blame him for being slightly resentful but I can't bring myself to regret any of my actions either. They weren't without reason.</p><p>"Cal I don't want to fight, I want to move on. And yes I know it took a long time to forgive you when it shouldn't have but I thought we were putting that behind us."</p><p>"You're right, we are. But it was a whole year, do you have any idea how much I struggled without you for so long? I know it's not your fault and I know you were doing this for us but it still didn't make it easier to see you leave."</p><p>"I thought it was for the best."</p><p>My voice has gone quiet and it's suddenly hard to breathe. In my mind, Cal hated me for killing his brother and being an obstacle in the way to getting the crown. In my mind, I took everything that should have been his. Only now do I understand how wrong I was. He chose the crown for me, for Reds, because he knew it was the best chance we had of getting equality, of finally ending years of oppression. No other king would have given us what he did. And I was stupid and just threw it back in his face, making it all about me. That's what's changed in the past year, I finally realised what a mistake I made. I told myself that I'd come back to Norta when I was ready, and I didn't. I thought Cal resented me for killing his brother but he doesn't. I thought what I did was for the best but it wasn't.</p><p>"And I was wrong." I tell him, "We didn't need time apart, we needed time to heal after losing Maven and we should have done it together. I'm sorry. I really am."</p><p>His burning eyes meet mine. It's the first time I've said Maven's name without hesitation and despite the raw feel of it on my tongue, I find that the usual pain has become bearable. I've said what I needed to say, I just hope the words are enough.</p><p>"I was never angry at you for killing Mavey but it did put me through a lot of pain, pain that I hoped we would help each other cope through. But maybe we still can."</p><p>There's hope in his eyes. I nod as he continues.</p><p>"You know, I chose the crown for you Mare. I had hoped you would see that it was the only way to give you and the Scarlet Guard what they wanted whilst also keeping the peace. If I hadn't taken it, one of the High Houses would have and then all hope would have been lost. Despite what you think, I didn't take it out of selfishness or because I was scared of ensuring absolute equality. It was so I could ease the Kingdom into it and make the fairer society you wanted more stable, so it would last. That's what you never understood."</p><p>He whispers the last part and it fractures my heart. 'I understand now. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I never want to go again. I love you' I want to scream at him but I don't. Instead, I compose myself and choose my words carefully.</p><p>"I know. I made a mistake, a lot of mistakes actually, but if there's one thing I can promise, it's that I will never leave you again. So with that said, can we start over?"</p><p>It's a quietly desperate plea but he takes it nonetheless.</p><p>"You know I've waited a long time for those words Mare, so yes let's start over. And know that I'll never love anyone or anything more than I love you."</p><p>"Not even your cycle?" I attempt a joke because to admit that my heart is soaring at heights it will never reach again is too difficult.</p><p>"Well," he pretends to deliberate, "it's a close second."</p><p>And just like that, we're back to normal. There's still hope. This will end well, it has to.</p><p>An hour later and we're both sitting on the steps leading up to the library. Usually, I come here to escape my thoughts and feelings but today, it's the place where I'll share them with Cal.</p><p>People stroll past with their wares and in the distance I can just about hear the city fountain trickling water into its marble pool. The scene is peaceful; I'll never quite get used to it. Most of my life has been taken up with fear, dread and scattered among it, little bouts of love. Unfortunately this also resulted in loss and for a long time it was all I knew which is why from now on I'll never take stolen moments like this for granted ever again. My heart flutters when I see Cal laughing at two birds flying in the noon sky. He's enjoying what I hope will be the first of many happy memories. If anyone deserves them, it's him. I'm so taken away in the moment I don't notice I'm staring.</p><p>"What are you looking at?" I hear him ask and suddenly I snap out of my daze.</p><p>"You." I answer. He lifts his mouth into that crooked smile I love so much.</p><p>"Yeah I got that. I meant why are you looking at me?"</p><p>"Because have you seen yourself? You can't blame me for staring."</p><p>The man honestly has no idea how good looking he is, it's ridiculous. He's built like a god and is completely oblivious to it. A silver blush runs along his cheeks – I delight in knowing that I am the cause and revel in how easy it is to make him flustered. With a cough, he tries to change the subject.</p><p>"Your family seem to be doing well."</p><p>I tick everyone's name off my mental checklist.</p><p>"Yeah Gisa's got a girlfriend and you saw my parents, they're ok. I think they're just glad to see me happy again. Bree and Tramy got their own place which is good because Bree's getting married in the Summer. Clara and Farley visit quite often which, as I'm sure you guessed, is always eventful and the house is always a mess by the time they leave. Clara likes finger painting you see. She looks more like Shade with every passing day."</p><p>The last name is not so easy to say but at least the pain is bearable.</p><p>"Your brother, from what I could see in the little time I knew him, was a good man Mare. I'm sorry I didn't get to know him more." Cal puts his arm around me and I sense that if it wasn't holding me together, I'd dissolve in a puddle of tears.</p><p>"What about Kilorn, how's he doing?" I'm thankful for the change in subject. At least it will take my mind away from Shade. I turn to face Cal and smirk in response to his question.</p><p>"Jealous are we?"</p><p>He plays along and smirks back.</p><p>"Humour me."</p><p>I decide to give him a serious reply.</p><p>"Well, he's doing great too. He's opening up a fishing shop with Cameron and let's just say the two have gotten very close. But what about you Cal? We never really talked about how you're doing. And don't say fine because I know you're not."</p><p>He takes a deep breath and contemplates his next words. It feels like forever. Our eyes meet and he knows he can't hold off answering much longer. When the words finally come they're uneasy, but from his eyes I can tell they're sincere.</p><p>"I'm not going to lie to you Mare, it's been a struggle. Like I said, it wasn't easy being without you for a whole year. It was hard enough when Maven took you but when you left again, of your own choice no less, well it very nearly destroyed me."</p><p>I take his hand in mine. I wish I could offer more comfort. I wish I could take it all back. But I can't. What I say next is the only thing more I can offer.</p><p>"Cal I'm so sorry for hurting you like that. I had my reasons but I know they were wrong. I just hope you believe me when I say I never want to make you suffer for my mistakes ever again."</p><p>"Well good because I- I love you."</p><p>We both know these are not words to be wasted but there's no fear of wasting them when they rise out of my chest and escape my lips, sounding so right.</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Quietly, we help each other off the steps and stroll down the street, hand in hand, a couple again. It's a feeling I never want to let go of. I want to capture it and hold on to it with every essence of my being so when the dark days come around like they sometimes do, I can let it lift me up out of the storm.</p><p>The village is less busy today and we pass a fountain, it's one of the places I showed Cal last night. The noon light is reflected in a way that makes it look angelic and I can't help but gaze at it in wonder until he decides it would be a great idea to push me in. All I can hear is his laughter before I realise I'm still holding onto him. Using his distraction, I pull as hard as I can and he falls in too with a satisfying plop. We're both drenched and people are staring but we're too busy laughing to care. I splash the water in his face and he returns the gesture so now my hair is soaked and suddenly he's the only person I can see. Everyone else fades away and I kiss him, fleeting at first but increasingly hungry. Our bodies slot perfectly together, remembering the feel of being pressed up against each other. I melt into him and say what my words never could. For the few seconds everyone else has disappeared, there's nowhere I'd rather be.</p><p>Then the explosion happens, shattering the moment.</p><p>My ears stop working and I lose all of my senses as my fingers search for something to grab onto. After much difficulty they find their target and with effort, I hoist myself out of the water and slowly regain my eyesight. I wish I hadn't. The scene that meets me is one of devastation. Children cry, blood soaks the floor and the smell of burning flesh is too close. Cal is holding onto me, staring at me with worry filling his eyes.</p><p>"Are you alright, are you hurt?"</p><p>I shake my head, knowing what he'll say next.</p><p>"Ok, we need to get you to safety."</p><p>I don't budge. One look at the determination on my face should tell him everything and suddenly I find his eyes frantically pleading for me to understand. But I will not run. I'm not turning my back on innocent people. Not when disaster's just struck.</p><p>"Mare please, think! What if they strike again? I need you alive and safe. I can't lose you, not when I just found you again!" He screams.</p><p>"I'm not leaving, these people need help!" I scream back. He nods. It was never his nature to abandon people in need and I know that he knows it's the right thing to do.</p><p>"Fine." He whispers.</p><p>He addresses anyone who'll listen, once again a general commanding his people.</p><p>"Everyone listen up! If you're not fatally wounded, gather on the library steps and you'll be dealt with shortly. Are there any healers here?"</p><p>A few people nod; the rest emulate a stampede trying to get out of the disaster as fast as they can.</p><p>"Good, find anyone who's fatally injured and do your job, save as many as you can."</p><p>Barely anyone's listening but I'm thankful for the few who are. The healers go from person to person trying to help as many as possible. It's not a pretty sight. People scream in agony as a mixture of red and silver stains the floor but they are the lucky ones. Some bodies just get skipped, their lives snuffed out quick as lightning. I try not to let myself crumble as I see the devastation before me. If I don't spring into action soon, I fear what was left of my resolve will evaporate entirely, so it's with that thought that I turn to Cal.</p><p>"What can I do?"</p><p>The look on his face tells me everything I need to know.</p><p>"Mare, I don't think there's much you can do. Not until people are accounted for, we have a record of casualties and we find the perpetrator. I promise when the time comes, you'll have an important job to do but for now, just stay with me. Please."</p><p>How can I say no to him? I know my skills have limited use for this particular situation but I'm itching to do something, anything that will help.</p><p>I'd forgotten what it was like, having to deal with the aftermath of attacks. No. Massacres. And looking at the destruction before me, I remember why I shut down the memory of them (along with many other traumatic memories) as soon as I'd arrived in Montfort. Seeing people die in front of you screaming in agony, you can never get used to it. You force yourself to forget. It's the only way to stop the nightmares. But with each new traumatising event, the process starts all over again and there's only so much you can bury before it all comes spilling out. Luckily, I now have Cal, the person who understands me more than anyone, to help me through it. It'll be like it was when we were running from Maven. Countless nights of sleeping next to each other, sharing nightmares, comforting each other. I wonder whether the people injured in the attack will get the same courtesy.</p><p>I waste a lot of time sitting around before I realise that maybe I can still do something. These people deserve to have someone to share this with. I'm not sure how effective I'll be but if I can save one person from suffering alone in their new-found trauma, it'll be worth it.</p><p>I start with a little girl of maybe eight. She has dark hair, black eyes and olive skin which just illuminates the scarlet blood coming from a gash on her cheek. While it's deep, and no doubt painful, the wound isn't fatal and the blood's already clotting. With luck, it won't even scar.</p><p>"Hello." I start and notice she's all alone, "Do you have parents or anyone looking after you?"</p><p>Tears flow slowly down her face and to my horror she points to a woman bleeding on the ground, surrounded by healers desperately trying to save her.</p><p>"That's mummy."</p><p>"Uh huh." I nod cautiously. "And where's daddy?"</p><p>"I don't know, someone said he died in the explosion. Is mummy going to be ok?"</p><p>How do I answer a question like that? I look at the healers. They've given up. My lips automatically curl into my defence mechanism, a smile. Back when I was Mareena, a lifetime time ago, I used my smile like a mask. I guess I made a habit of it. Except this time, I'm not hiding my humble background or red blood, I'm sheltering this girl from the death of her parents for a few more precious hours. A few more hours where she can still dream and hope and have some semblance of happiness in an unshattered world where there's still a possibility of her Mum waking up. So I search for a question to distract her.</p><p>"I don't know but how about you tell me your name?"</p><p>The girl plays with a strand of her hair and replies, stretching out her hand.</p><p>"Malissa. I'm really scared, what if mummy doesn't wake up?</p><p>"That's a beautiful name, I'm Mare." I shake her hand and point to the healers. "You see those people? They're going to try their best to fix everyone who got hurt - including your Mum - and when they're finished, some people in a uniform are going to take you somewhere safe so you see? You don't need to be scared because no matter what happens, everything's going to be ok. I promise."</p><p>I hate myself for lying. This girl is going to grow up without the love of her parents. She's going to suffer their loss everyday and I'm telling her everything's going to be fine. Cal's footsteps enter my field of view.</p><p>"Mare?" He looks between me and Malissa, confused.</p><p>"Malissa this is Cal. Cal this is Malissa. I was just telling her how everything's going to be fine and that there's nothing to be afraid of." I say pointedly. He gets the hint.</p><p>"Oh yeah, the healers are doing a great job and we'll probably be finished in the next couple of hours, we're just trying to work out exactly what happened. Listen Mare, can I talk to you for a moment?"</p><p>"Sure." I turn to face Malissa. "Ok I've got to go but do what the officers tell you to and everything will be fine. Don't go with anyone not in a uniform and stay safe. I hope I see you again soon, it was lovely meeting you."</p><p>I leave, turning my back on her. We walk around the corner of a beautiful building that was lucky enough to survive the blast. Cal scratches the back of his neck.</p><p>"Malissa huh?"</p><p>I'm not sure he understands why I was talking to her and if I'm honest, I'm not even sure myself. Maybe it was her young age or the tears in her eyes - something made her stand out but I have no idea what. One thing's for sure, her face is etched into my memory and will not be easily forgotten. The name Malissa will haunt my nightmares long after the city's recovered.</p><p>"I figured I could at least do some good, talk to people, let them know they're not alone."</p><p>He strokes my cheek and proceeds to cup my face in his hands. The gesture is simple but gets my heart beating so fast I can barely hear what he's saying.</p><p>"And I'm sure they're very appreciative. Look, I know you feel like you're not doing much but I need to tell you-"</p><p>"Well well well, didn't expect to see you here. Actually scratch that, I'd expect nothing less from you than to be leading the investigation into this."</p><p>I've heard the speaker's voice so many times the sudden interruption barely registers in my brain but I forgot how long it's been for Cal, whose eyes widen in surprise.</p><p>"Kilorn!"</p><p>"Your highness. Or should I say, ex-highness?"</p><p>He does a mock-bow and a smile plays on his lips. There's a brief moment of a sort of… mutual understanding between them but I can't put my finger on where it's coming from. It's all I can do to watch curiously as the two embrace each other in a surprisingly warm hug. Then Farley's deliberate cough brings everyone to attention.</p><p>"Glad you've become reacquainted, now can we please get back to the task on hand? Did we manage to get any witnesses, anyone we can talk to?"</p><p>Cal shakes his head. His whole mood has shifted to directly contrast his reaction just mere seconds ago. All the warmth has been drained out of him and when he speaks, it's a mumble.</p><p>"Anyone who was close enough to identify the attacker is dead."</p><p>His face has darkened and his brows are furrowed in concentration. It's unsettling. Everyone's obviously thinking the same thing because no one's meeting his eyes. I choose instead to look at the other people in the room, thinking of all the people who lost their lives needlessly today. How would I feel if anyone in this room was one of them? The dreadful thought crosses my mind only for a second but it's enough to make my eyes prick. I look at Kilorn, my best friend, and I remember how close I was to losing him that day in New Town. How for those minutes where he hung between life or death, I felt the world crashing around me. I look at Farley, the mother of my brother's child, and remember the day I felt certain she was going to die but she was instead tortured by a Gliacon. Then I look at Cal, the love of my life, and there's too many memories to pick from. Too many near death experiences. If any of them had played out and I lost him, I'm not sure whether I could have even gone on in the fight against Maven. It's a terrifying thought. If anything happened to Cal, Maven would have surely won as I would've been too heartbroken to fight. Except he didn't win, and I'm not heartbroken. I suppose I have to hold on to that.</p><p>"So we have no idea who's responsible for this and no idea whether they'll strike again?" Farley asks, clearly fustrated.</p><p>"That's essentially what I'm saying, yes."</p><p>"Fantastic." She thinks for a moment. "What about cameras? Surely there's some surveillance footage somewhere?"</p><p>Cal shakes his head.</p><p>"The surveillance cameras closest to the blast were disabled five minutes before the attack but the officers I spoke to say they might be able to get some footage from cameras further away but it's likely the images will be too grainy to make out anyone's face."</p><p>Silence descends on the group and the reason is all too clear. There's an unasked question hanging in the air. We're all just waiting to see who will be brave enough to actually ask it. Since no one steps forward I decide that that person will be me. Slowly, the words escape my throat.</p><p>"Have we got a casualty count?"</p><p>The reply comes from Farley, who doesn't even attempt to sugar-coat it.</p><p>"So far there's 78 dead and 23 injured."</p><p>My heart sinks. 78 dead. 78 people who will not go home tonight. 78 people who will never see the faces of their loved ones, know the feeling of the Sun on their faces or feel a sweet tender kiss ever again. They probably forgot to tell their family they loved them today, not knowing it would be their last. The question now is, where do we go from here?</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. D for Destruction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FARLEY POV</p><p>I'm pacing around the room, the walls getting too close for my liking.</p><p>"The premier should be here by now."</p><p>"He's probably busy overseeing other sites, apparently there's been a few attacks around the country." Kilorn tries to reassure me.</p><p>It's not good enough. We need to find who did this. So many families…</p><p>If I had taken Clara out for a stroll like I planned to, would we be with the dead? Thank goodness I left her with Shade's parents instead. It has to end, all of this. Death and destruction has become too normal. Just a tactic used by tyrants to make themselves feel powerful, like they can control us. If I do one thing in my life, if I should die, it will be to end it. Attacks like these are only acts of cowardice from those who feel like the balance of power is becoming too even. Shade told me that. If such a power imbalance didn't exist he might still have been here. Witnessed Clara's first steps, her first words and she might have had a father. But instead she's left with only stories to keep his legacy. If I can do anything with my life, it will all be to make sure she lives in a world where she can strive towards her dreams without the fear of them being crushed by nothing more than a hunk of weaponised metal. Because that's all these bombs are. Yet they can still do so much damage. Too much. And it will stop. It has to.</p><p>My thoughts get interrupted by a knock on the door. Cameron is the first to act.</p><p>"Premier, thank you for finally joining us."</p><p>"Of course," he dips his head forward solemnly, "I would never let something like this go without punishing those responsible. Montfort has suffered attacks like these in the distant past but for it to be happening now… there are no words. It's just simply devastating."</p><p>"Which is why we need to act. Do you have any ideas to catch the perpetrator?" I ask him curtly.</p><p>"I've been thinking about it. I made a few calls on the journey here and I believe I've found a lost descendant of House Servon; they were once a powerful house of whispers much like the Merandus line. With any luck she can see into the memories of the survivors. It's a long shot but if anyone witnessed it directly then it would be our best hope."</p><p>"I just hope you're right Premier." Kilorn says what we're all thinking. There's something akin to admiration in his eyes. Kilorn respects the Premier, very much so, I knew that much but this is more. It's like he's planning what he would do if he were in his shoes. If I didn't know any better I'd say Kilorn would have a great shot at the role himself someday.</p><p>"I suppose we'll just have to wait and see but it doesn't seem like there's many other options." Mare says.</p><p>"It's true, all the CCTV cameras that could have captured anything useful would be destroyed in the blast." Cal agrees. Obviously. They've been inseparable since he came back. I have to say, I think the time away did the ex-king some good, he looks sharper now, less tired. I can't blame him, it must be a huge weight off your chest no longer having to run a country. Still, there's much work to be done to solidify the infrastructure surrounding the new Nortan States so he can't have had that much of a rest. He's probably just grown accustomed to making his tiredness all but invisible.</p><p>While my mind rambles on, I don't notice the Premier making a phone call. It's only when there's a beep as he hangs up that I realise he must have been calling to fetch the Silver. He turns to face me and wipes his forehead. Unlike Cal, his exhaustion and inexperience with disasters such as these are plain for all to see.</p><p>"She'll be here in about fifteen minutes. Let's try to keep our heads until then."</p><p> </p><p>CAL POV</p><p>The whisper is called Gemma, we find out when she enters the room. We make our acquaintances and sit her on a chair which she grips the ends of tightly. She's only been here a few moments and is already wiping her sweaty palms onto her leather tunic.</p><p>"You know what you have to do?" I decide to ask tentatively.</p><p>She only nods. Mare and I look at each other and I don't know what else to say. Gemma is the only other Silver in this room. I feel like I should say more, especially since we're asking for so much and I'm the only one that can offer her any reassurance but I've never been great with words. Mercifully Kilorn jumps in.</p><p>"Thank you for doing this, I hope you understand what you're getting yourself into. These people experienced horrible things and you're going to have to witness it as they did. If you feel it's too much you can leave at any time but we'd really appreciate anything you could tell us about that day. Anything that looked out of the ordinary, we want to know."</p><p>"I'll," Gemma pauses, "I'll try my best."</p><p>Then Premier Davidson perks up, "Alright send the witnesses in." He says and one by one, minute by minute they come offering no more than a handful of awful accounts that all tell the same tale of destruction and death and chaos. An hour goes by, fifteen people have had their mind searched and exposed Gemma to horrors she's probably unaccustomed to and we're no closer to getting anything concrete. That is, until a boy called Freddie steps into the room. We go through all the usual pleasantries, hi how are you, thank you for coming today, you're so brave, have you lost anyone today, we're sorry for your loss. The questions that have been asked so many times and I try to remember each answer, each face, each individual story but after about the tenth person they end up merging together.</p><p>Then Gemma starts her routine of looking into the person's mind, soul, memories, recounting everything as she sees it. Delicately as possible, almost as skilful as my step-mother but much much kinder.</p><p>"There's a lot of people, mostly stall vendors. I suppose…" she falters in what I assume is the moment of the blast before continuing, her voice quiet, "That's a lot of shrapnel and the way it's twisted and bent… I'd say it was the work of a magnetron if I didn't know any better."</p><p>"Magnetron?" I start.</p><p>"Aren't the Samos' in the Nortan States right now? They're the only magnetrons we know of right?" Says Mare, following my line of thinking.</p><p>"Oh the Samos'! I've heard of them. House colours grey and black? Usually have grey hair? I remember learning all about the Nortan High Houses when I was younger. My mother wanted me to in case I ever went to fight on the front and got taken as a prisoner of war. She was a very paranoid woman, but I didn't have the heart to tell her it would have been more likely for me to be killed. Wait a minute… I think I… Hold on a sec." Gemma delves back into Freddie's memories. "Yes! How did I not see it before? Grey hair, wearing grey and black, it's a Samos alright. And not just any Samos, that's Volo!"</p><p>"What!?" Everyone cries at once and the room ascends into madness and chaos. People screaming to get their voices heard but I can't make out a single one. I need to think. This isn't possible, it shouldn't be possible. I must get somewhere quiet, somewhere I can find an answer, solve everything, understand how this is happening. I don't think Gemma would lie but people don't just come back from the dead. Haunt you maybe, but never come back to life. And I should know. How often have I wanted to glimpse my brother's blue eyes again, as they once were, innocent and not clouded by a darkness I didn't notice until it was too late. I don't realise the whole room is staring at me until I hear Mare's voice, clear above everyone else's, yelling my name. And then I see it. I accidentally singed some of her clothes. She was standing too close and I didn't notice my body temperature rising to what must be a scorching amount.</p><p>I make a decision and leave, only getting a few steps in before I end up leaning against the wall. It could be after a couple minutes or seconds, I'm not really sure, but eventually Mare follows suit.</p><p>"Thanks for that, now I need to get a change of clothes." She smiles.</p><p>"I'm sorry Mare, I didn't mean to- "</p><p>"Cal it's fine, really. But I do want to know the name of your tailor because if I'm going to be spending so much time with you again, this can't keep happening. Besides, I think I'd suit fire-proof clothes."</p><p>"Well suiting clothes isn't exactly a struggle for you. I'm pretty sure you'd suit Julian's robes if you had to wear them." I joke.</p><p>"You're unbelievable." She laughs then looks at me, her tone turning serious, "What were you thinking about? When you were burning up I mean."</p><p>"Mostly Maven."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>There's an awkward pause. Mare seems to make her mind up on something.</p><p>"They're talking about sending people out to catch Volo but they don't need us. Farley said we could go home. She even gave me a walkie-talkie to use if they find anything and you look about ready to collapse so… how about it?"</p><p>"I'd love nothing more, especially if it means I get to spend the evening with you." I run my hands through my hair. There's something I've been meaning to say for a while. I've implied lots of things, sure, but Mare needs to know exactly what my feelings are towards her. Just to clear the air, and there's no reason I can't say it all now. So I look into her eyes, her gorgeous eyes, and mean every word.</p><p>"I love you, you know that right? I go to sleep, and yours is the face I see. I picture us having a life together. For a year I didn't think I'd let my mind even dream something like that. And to be here, to be able to spend time with you again, it makes me think for the first time that a future with you is possible. Now, I don't believe in happily ever afters but if I'm going to have one then gods dammit it's going to be with no one but you."</p><p>She bites her lip as she takes my hand in hers. I'm not sure whether this is a good or a bad sign.</p><p>"Cal, you know I love you too and I don't see myself with anyone but you, but it's much too early to be thinking of happily ever after. We need to concentrate on here and now. Maybe one day, we can think of a future, a life, but not now. We just got back together. There's still a lot of healing we both need to do. Can you understand that?"</p><p>It's hard to hear but I can't argue. She's just trying to be sensible and I can't blame her for it but there's no denying that a small piece of my heart has broken just ever so slightly. For her, I pretend that my pride hasn't been wounded and try to think with my head, because my head agrees with her.</p><p>"Yes," I allow, "but I hate it when you're right."</p><p>"Come on," she places a hand on my cheek, "don't let this ruin what promises to be a great evening. I was thinking we could even play chess."</p><p>"Well it has been awhile. You better not let me win."</p><p>"Wouldn't dream of it." I smile the crooked smile I know she loves.</p><p>We go hand in hand to her house and, unexpectedly perhaps, kiss before opening the door. Her lips are soft as always and I tell myself it's my powers causing the heat to rise in my chest. But of course that's not true. I try to ignore it as we step through the door. Mercifully her parents don't seem to be home. All I can see stepping forward is Mare's face while we inch as one into the apartment. Suddenly we go flying as we tumble onto the sofa and explode in a fit of giggles. Once we've stopped laughing long enough to have a conversation, Mare turns to me.</p><p>"What's your favourite movie? Let's watch something."</p><p>Well, I guess it's time to come clean.</p><p>"I've actually… never watched a movie before."</p><p>"Ok Cal, that can't be true. I grew up in the Stilts where most people could barely afford a TV, I have an excuse. But you, Mr Gives-Out-Tetrarchs-To-Random-Thieves-Like-They're-Nothing, you could watch all the films you wanted and you haven't even seen one?"</p><p>"I didn't really have the time! You know with the constant training to run the country. But I'm open to anything that involves spending time with you, so what would you suggest?"</p><p>It's like opening Pandora's box as I see the emotion rising to her face, lighting it with an excitement that I've never seen. It's so unlike Mare and I can't help but grin at it.</p><p>"I managed to convince Julian to give me a collection from the archives, before the New Era even began. They're pretty awesome. There's this series called Harry Potter and I love it. We should definitely start with that. But only if you want to."</p><p>If it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me.</p><p>"I'd love to." I reply.</p><p>Mare gets the blankets because even this low in the mountains the crisp air still gets chilly in the evenings. Meanwhile I decide to busy myself making some hot cocoa. Before we know it we're cuddled on the couch, already starting Prisoner of Azkaban.</p><p>"This is the best thing ever." I'm truly astonished. These films were made before even the very first Silver was discovered and yet still talks of magical powers, telling the future and manipulating the elements. I can't help but wonder if they somehow knew back then that this is where we'd end up. And if they didn't then their imagination was still much to be admired.</p><p>"Right! And Julian thinks that these films could give us clues to what life was like before. That they may have even been left for us to learn about the past."</p><p>There's a new light in her eyes that's so refreshing to see. Any happiness is more than both of us ever hoped for but to have it in abundance like this is nothing short of a miracle. I want this evening to never end and yet it can't end quick enough so we can have more nights like these. Unfortunately my body seems to prefer the latter idea. A drowsiness begins to flow through me making me realise just how tired I am.</p><p>"That's incredible." I say through a yawn. It was getting pretty late and the day had been long enough anyway. As I feel my eyes drooping, I mutter the words "I love you." Knowing I can't wear them out when Mare's involved, knowing that even though she might not feel the same, or to the same extent as I do, for me, those words will always be true. Then I fall into the world of sleep. A world I've been deprived of for a very long time, never being able to stay in it for more than a couple of hours at most each night.</p><p> </p><p>MARE POV</p><p>"I love you too Cal."</p><p>We live in such an uncertain, ever-changing world, it's nice to know I have something that will remain constant for as long as I live. It took a while for me to admit I love him, and when I did, that love was put to the test so, so many times but it was always there. In my heart I make a silent promise that it will remain unwavering for the rest of my life. After all we've been through, loving him isn't a choice anymore. I know I love him, but whether we can have a future together… I just can't think about that yet. I glance at his sleeping form. It's probably the only time he gets to escape everything, I know what that feels like. I slide close to him, hugging Cal as tightly as possible without waking him up. Then the walkie talkie rings.</p><p>As quickly and silently as I can, I pick it up and move to the kitchen.</p><p>"Farley, is everything ok? Did you find anything?"</p><p>"It was almost too easy to catch him. We did an interrogation and apparently some newblood can bring people back from the dead. We don't know who he is but we're working on it."</p><p>The last few pieces of a puzzle I didn't know I was trying to solve fall into place.</p><p>"Farley I think-"</p><p>A cloth covers my face; I breathe in a strange, unfamiliar scent and everything goes dark.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. P for Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mare POV</p><p>I wake up and immediately wish I hadn't as millions of thoughts rush through me. There's a faint sound of waves crashing on the sand. I must be on a beach somewhere, but where? I get up to look at my surroundings but feel a cold weight on my wrists. Shackles. Silent stone. I curse words I didn't even know I knew before terror wraps itself around my throat. Then all the trauma I tried so hard to bury, tried so hard to escape, comes spilling out all at once and leaves me a sobbing mess on the ground. I swore I'd never endure this again. Never be made a victim again. Yet here I was, just that. Utterly useless.</p><p>Little by little my mind regains the ability to think as it comes up with an inconceivable idea. It couldn't be true of course but I humour it. Then it stops becoming humorous as a dark form treks across the sand toward me.</p><p>"Hello Mare."</p><p>"Thomas."</p><p>My voice feels small and weak.</p><p>"Liking the scenery?"</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>"What I had to." I wonder what he means by that. I can guess of course but none of my ideas seem probable.</p><p>He moves towards me with a hint of sadness in his eyes, "Have you ever been in love Mare?"</p><p>I scoff. Of course I have. I didn't know it at the time, but what else could describe what Cal and I had. Have, I remind myself, and it offers some comfort. Then there was also a time, however brief, I had loved Maven too.</p><p>"So then you know what it feels like to be completely infatuated, helpless against your own emotions. What it feels like to belong to someone."</p><p>"No. I always made a point of being the only person I belonged to."</p><p>"But that's not exactly true is it? You put on a good show Mare, but after what Maven did to you, were your thoughts ever your own again? Or were your dreams haunted by blue piercing eyes and floppy black hair?"</p><p>To that, I have very little to say. Unfortunately he has a point. As much as I may try, my painful memories and nightmares belong to Maven. Then I make the connection.</p><p>"You still love Maven. And you're going to use your powers to bring him back… If you haven't already."</p><p>It's his turn to scoff, dismissing my statement.</p><p>"There aren't words big enough to describe what Maven and I share. You are however, quite right. I've brought him back."</p><p>It's like a hand's squeezing my stomach and</p><p>"No. NO! You don't know what you're doing. You can't… he doesn't…"</p><p>I am, for all intents and purposes, completely unhinged. Dealing with memories and nightmares is one thing but to see him brought back from the dead, in the flesh, it would destroy me. I worked so hard to be rid of him. Now it's all for nothing. But Thomas can't mean it. Surely he wouldn't be so naïve to bring Maven back, no matter how much he claims to love him. He doesn't know what he's unleashed.</p><p>Thomas just watches me while I put myself together. It takes a while but eventually I manage to string a coherent sentence together.</p><p>"He can't love you like you love him."</p><p>He cups my face in his hand, forcing me to look into his eyes.</p><p>"I know. And I don't want him to. It's the way of the world you see. People kill, civilisations rise and fall, and Thomas is Maven's slave forever. I'm not an idiot. I know that's what our relationship is and all it can ever be, but I'll take what I can get."</p><p>Again there's a vague melancholic feeling behind those eyes. It's like holding up a mirror. I know that feeling. The feeling of being trapped, knowing you need to leave but not quite wanting to. The instant he sees the sympathy in my face he turns away. When he turns back, all emotion is gone. His face is steel. I suppose you get quite good at putting up masks when you spend time with the person who's best at it.</p><p>He moves to lift me up from the ground. I may not have my powers but I might be able to get a punch or two in, maybe break his nose if I'm lucky. I subtly curl my hands into fists.</p><p>"If you're thinking about fighting, I wouldn't. There are snipers everywhere, you wouldn't make it two steps."</p><p>Oh. Not so subtle then. I consider whether he may be bluffing and try to call it.</p><p>"I don't see them."</p><p>"Obviously, that's what makes a good sniper."</p><p>His temper is palpable.</p><p>"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I ask and in return get a shallow laugh.</p><p>"Alright. Snipers!" He calls, "FIRE AROUND HER!"</p><p>I don't dare move as I get hailed with bullets landing a mere few inches from my feet forming a perfect circle. He looks down at me.</p><p>"It would do you well to remember the lengths Maven goes to to get what he wants."</p><p>And he leads me away.</p><p>My feet sink further into the sand with every step, getting heavy very quickly. For a short eternity we walk like this. In silence, knowing that nothing can prepare me for what I'm about to face. We've been going for so long I have time to figure out that this is the island where we buried Shade and I immediately wish I didn't have that extra weight to add to my heart, already close to shattering. Facing Maven will be hard enough, I can't bare to see my brother's grave too.</p><p>The sound of the waves gets softer as we go further inland and eventually come across a large building. Thomas reaches for the door and presses a few buttons with a series of hisses and clicks before it swings open. Further we walk, down labyrinthine corridors, twisting and turning until I lose my bearings. The walls are painted with murals, we pass the odd chandelier and occasional gold-framed painting. There's a certain opulence to it I suppose. But I don't recognise this place. Maybe the heart that created it, which I accepted I never truly knew long ago, but the cold halls and corridors from the past have not survived the storm of rebellion. They've adapted to a new regime and I can't help wondering if I should do the same. Would resigning to Maven save heartache in the long run? Was all this fighting and resisting worth it? People still died, truly evil people had the power to come back from the dead and I was helpless. Even if I could fight, I'm not sure what I was fighting for anymore. Stopping Maven never changed anything because the root of the problem wasn't him. He was just an innocent boy with high enough status that when he got twisted he became drunk with power, knowing he could get away with it. What the real problem was, the force that corrupted him, was fear. Had he the bravery to accept his feelings towards Thomas in the first place, his mother wouldn't have destroyed his mind and he wouldn't have turned into the monster he became. Dictators all have that in common I think, they're cowards.</p><p>We come to a stop outside some large oak double doors. Thomas wraps his knuckles against the door twice and opens it. I brace myself to see Maven, knowing I'll never really be prepared. I'm right. As I enter, he's immediately obvious, sitting on a throne made out of what can only be bones. His mouth has become a giant slit in his face, his eyes are sunk and shadowed, and his ebony hair has turned grey. Everything about him is dead except for his eyes, still piercing blue, still burning with a cold fire that not even death seems to be able to take away. He's always rightfully believed he was a monster, and now his appearance seems to match that sentiment. I can do nothing but stare as he gets off his throne and steps toward me, the gash in his mouth pointing upwards in an attempt at a smile.</p><p>"Mare."</p><p>"Maven."</p><p>"Life in the mountains has done you well, you look positively radiant."</p><p>"Of course it's nothing to do with the absence of your company."</p><p>"Yes well I'm sure you don't miss it. Shame you have to endure it again."</p><p>I crumble. Endure. He's planning on torturing me. In just three sentences he's got me exactly where he wants me. A shaking mess at his feet. He pretends not to notice, but how could he not.</p><p>"Then again, there won't be much time for talking when you're dead. You see, Thomas' powers open a whole new door to the world of causing insurmountable pain. For once, you might actually get close to understanding everything you put me through."</p><p>I don't doubt it but then he says something more worrying.</p><p>"That includes seeing someone you love being trapped for months, having the life slowly drained out of them."</p><p>I don't follow for a while, then I realise he means the time when I was trapped at Whitefire.</p><p>"But you were the one who tortured me!"</p><p>"It wasn't exactly a choice. Anyway, since it would've been difficult to get both you and Cal to come here, we're going to use your brother as your loved one. It's going to be so much fun to kill and bring him back over…" he steps forward on each 'over', filling the pauses between each one with heavy silence, "and over… and over again."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. T for Taken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cal POV</p><p>The first thing I notice when I wake up is that she's not there. So I decide to look around the apartment. I enter the bathroom, the living room and finally the kitchen. The cupboard has been left open and I identify the smell of chloroform in the air, but none of that matters because the walkie-talkie on the floor starts crackling. Farley's voice comes in loud and clear.</p><p>"Hello, this is Farley. I repeat, this is Farley trying to make contact for the fifth time. Is anyone there? Cal, are you there at all? What's happened to Barrow?"</p><p>There's nothing to do but answer so I rush to pick up the walkie-talkie.</p><p>"This is Cal. I don't know where Mare is but there's a smell of chloroform in the air. I think she's been taken."</p><p>A voice in my mind adds, "again." Sweat beads on my forehead and my heart beats right out of my chest. I can't lose her again. I can't. I won't. Mare means everything to me and I will tear this world apart to find her. Farley's voice keeps me grounded and is the only reason I don't sprint out of the apartment and search all over town for Mare myself.</p><p>"Crap, ok meet me at the town hall in half an hour."</p><p>"I'll be there."</p><p>On the fridge, something catches my eye. A note. I grab it.</p><p>Hi brother, you must have felt left out when I sent notes to Mare so guess what? I'm sending you one of your own and even better, I didn't have to pin it on a dead body! Yet. Stay away from me and you might see her again. Until we meet again, Mavey.</p><p>"We're here because Mare's missing."</p><p>The hum of voices becomes a persistent buzz. People speculate about what might have happened, people ask what it means for the revolution but no one is concerned about her. I realise I've been grinding my teeth as my jaw starts aching. Farley quietens everyone down with a wave of her hand. Even I'm impressed at how quickly the voices still themselves.</p><p>"I think we can all agree that she is crucial to the development and enforcement of Red equality in the Nortan States so getting her back is our top priority. Cal?"</p><p>I take a deep breath and start.</p><p>"I received a note from Maven."</p><p>The buzz returns with a vengeance but is silenced almost as quickly as it came. I give Farley a grateful nod.</p><p>"He said if we try anything he'll kill her. Well, I'm inferring. His exact words were 'stay out of my way and you might see her again' which seems like a pretty clear cut threat. But I'm also bothered by the fact he's obviously planning something."</p><p>Someone scoffs. I search for the source but it's not difficult to identify. Evangeline's standing up in a surprisingly understated dress with minimal metal.</p><p>"You mean for a change? I'm more concerned about the fact that he's come back to life. When I see someone die, I expect them to stay dead. First my father, now him. Who next? Elara? Because if I have to see her face again I will hand myself over to the Lakelands and ask them to kill me."</p><p>The town hall erupts into raucous upheaval. I can barely think. 'Back from the dead'. I never even thought to wonder how he did it. I suppose he was always alive to me, in some way. This just meant he was alive to everyone else too. But now I am wondering. How did a monster, a brother that I'd grieved and finally found the strength to start to let go, spill from my nightmares to my reality? Then it clicks. I've been so stupid.</p><p>"It's Thomas. It has to be. He came to our house a week ago and said he had the power to resurrect things from the dead."</p><p>Farley's the only one close enough to hear me.</p><p>"And you didn't suspect anything?" She shouts the question. It's more of an accusation really.</p><p>"No, he said he needed a friend." The words get reduced to a whisper as I realise how silly they sound now. A small voice appears in my brain. Was it really him who needed a friend, or you? Suddenly, this was starting to feel like it was my fault. Farley cries out in frustration.</p><p>"You are so gullible! Of course he wasn't looking for a friend, he was obviously getting information for Maven."</p><p>I wonder when the crowd started listening. Reasserting myself, I clear my throat.</p><p>"Well now I know that. Anyway we're getting off track, we need to get Mare back."</p><p>Farley replies in the softest voice I've only heard her use on Clara. She looks at me like a wounded puppy. Like she's afraid to hurt me further.</p><p>"But Maven's using her as leverage."</p><p>Now I don't need to remind myself to be assertive. It comes naturally when you defend something you care about. Maven's used Mare against me before. He tried to take everything from me. My country, the girl I loved, even made me question my competency as a ruler but he never succeeded. And never will. I address everyone, meeting everyone's eyes as father taught me.</p><p>"Yes and if we do nothing then he'll undo all the hard work we put into forming the Nortan States and reinstate himself as a dictator with Mare as his prisoner. If he does that, then Mare's as good as dead. For everything he'll do to her, she'll wish she was." For the first time I truly imagine what she might be enduring as we speak. It feels like a string is being wrapped tighter and tighter around my heart. My pulse is rushing against my skull, making me a little lightheaded.</p><p>Farley's face and voice are hard again. "So we need to find where he's hiding."</p><p>"Yes, except that could be anywhere." I reply hopelessly. She shakes her head. Her determination manages to inject a little hope into me.</p><p>"Not quite. Thomas wouldn't be too far from Maven so he can't be in Tiraxes or Piedmont, or even the Nortan States. Somebody get me a map please."</p><p>Someone rushes away, presumably to get the map, and their footsteps are loud on the wooden town hall floor. It takes a couple of minutes but they return, map in hand. Farley wastes no time laying it out on a nearby table. The both of us look over it, taking in its contents. Before us, Montfort stretches out and spans miles and miles until…</p><p>"There. That island."</p><p>I'm certain of it. Farley scowls.</p><p>"How can you be so sure?"</p><p>"It's where… it's where Maven was buried. I'm assuming he needed his body to return. Shade and Elara are also buried there."</p><p>Maybe I mishear but it sounds like Farley swallows a gulp.</p><p>"Well then, let's hope you're right."</p><p>I nod. For Mare, I have to be.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. H for Hostage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thomas POV</p><p>"Are you sure you want me to kill him?"</p><p>I shouldn't question him. I never question him. And yet here I was. I can't help wondering what's happened to me these past few days. I'd been overcome with a desire to be as vexing as possible. When I first found Maven again, I wouldn't have dreamed of contradicting him like this. I did everything he asked without a second thought. 'Tommy, kill these people and make them work for me.' 'Tommy, my love, would you spy on these two for me?' 'Make sure they don't come back, Tommy'</p><p>The answer was always 'yes, of course, right away.' And if I was lucky he'd comfort me afterwards. He certainly wasn't comforting now. At my question, his pale face is set like a rock, a piece of perfectly carved cold marble flushed pale with anger yet when he speaks, his voice is deadly calm.</p><p>"I said as much, didn't I?"</p><p>"Yes, it's just… it seems pointless. And boring. Killing someone over and over again."</p><p>"I don't care what it seems like. I care that we have someone she loves in our grasp and this is the best way to use him!" He raises his voice then takes a deep breath to calm himself. Why am I enjoying making him angry? For some reason, although I shouldn't, I press on.</p><p>"You know the novelty's going to wear off."</p><p>"Look, is this defiance I'm detecting? Because I would have thought," he hisses, "considering this is how we secure our future together, you'd be a bit more enthusiastic." He searches to meet my eyes and tries to compose himself. Delicately yet dangerously, he reaches to lift my chin so my eyes meet his.</p><p>"You should be more careful Tommy, you don't want to play with fire." I don't back away, even as his eyes burn into mine. Even as his fingers twitch threateningly across my neck.</p><p>"The problem is," Our lips are mere centimetres apart as I move his hand away. I'll pay for that later, "I really do."</p><p>Smirking like an idiot, I turn on my heels and half-skip to the dungeons.</p><p>Shade groans as I enter the room. The fact that he's even able to do that is impressive, given the state he's in. The guards really put him through the wringer. As Maven says, the first step to breaking someone is finding their physical weak points. The best way to do that… well. It involves a lot of punching, kicking, screaming and blood. From what I saw (I left pretty early, not wanting to witness too much and feel the guilt of it) Shade put up a good fight, but even heroes have their limits.</p><p>"I will never forgive you, you know that right?" Then there's Mare, her voice a branch ready to break in a gale of sadness. While her manacles don't allow her to curl up into the foetal position, she's as close to it as she can be.</p><p>"If you do this, there's no way you'll ever redeem yourself, no matter what Maven says. You'll be a monster just like him."</p><p>I try to ignore her and observe Shade. I could make this quick. He'd be at peace, at least for a while. Some people would call that a small mercy but they're naïve. There's no such thing as small mercies. Only suffering and the lack of it.</p><p>"I'm way past the point of redemption." My eyes are still on Shade. She replies meekly, barely audible even with her voice amplified as it reverberates off the stone walls of the cell.</p><p>"That's just something people say when they don't want to try." I roll my eyes.</p><p>"I don't have time for this." I tell her and brandish the knife, pressing the cold steel against Shade's neck. That seems to kick her into gear.</p><p>"No wait! Please. What will it take for you not to do this?"</p><p>I think for a second. What could she give me? Time to find out.</p><p>"I don't know Mare. There's not exactly much for you to bargain with."</p><p>"Take… take me instead."</p><p>Huh. Wasn't expecting her to offer herself up quite so fast. She's being foolish. That suits me just fine.</p><p>"Oh Mare," I say dramatically just because I can, "if you're going to play with fire, make sure you know how to handle it first. Why would I do that?"</p><p>"Maven wants me to suffer, so do whatever you were going to do to Shade, to me. Please. It's what Maven wants isn't it? To hurt me. I mean, of course losing Shade would manage to do that, but I've learnt how to deal with grief before. I'll do it again. Whereas if you kill me instead…"</p><p>"Are you sure you know what you're signing up for?" I interrupt.</p><p>"I know you'll have the power to control me, but I don't care. Do what you want with me. Just leave my brother alone."</p><p>I smile. I shouldn't. This is going even further against Maven's wishes but there's something very alluring about defying him. I'm starting to fear it's like a drug. Addicting and dangerous.</p><p>"You have yourself a deal Miss Barrow." I try not to grin at her misplaced sigh of relief. Shade grumbles incoherently while I walk towards his sister.</p><p>"Are you ready to say goodbye Mare?"</p><p>"Of course not. Is anyone?"</p><p>Yes, but I won't tell her that. I'm sure she's trying trying to act nonchalant, putting on an act of indifference. Maybe she's trying to convince me, and herself, that she really doesn't care, that she's ready. But I've seen people when they're ready to die and Mare is not. Even as her eyes stare up at me accepting her fate, there's the hint of a will to live. But still I shrug and plunge the knife into her neck. I don't bother to stay and watch it take her life.</p><p>'Only because it's boring. Not because I feel guilty.' I lie to myself.</p><p>Stalking the corridors, I make my way to the kitchen. It's a relatively small room for such a big castle but I only need a single sink to wash the blood off. The cool water gushing from the tap revives my senses, grounding me in my reality. I am a murderer. I didn't think it would ever bother me but… well… it's starting to. Never mind. I've got to focus on the next step. That's how to stay ahead in this game. I've done something I wasn't supposed to so how could I use this? How could I… Oh. Maven's plan was to break Mare. He believed without her, there'd be no one to stop him. It seems like I've done him one better. After all, if Maven's going to take over this continent, he needs an army. We've already got one of those but what we don't have, what would be hugely beneficial, is someone to lead them. Someone that knows everything about the rebels. Someone who's completely under our control. Someone we couldn't stop before, now turned to our side. Someone like Mare.</p><p> </p><p>Cal POV</p><p>The waves crash against the boats in the harbour. I breathe in the salty air. I never liked water much but at least I'm back in the Nortan States. My country. My home. I want to enjoy this for as long as possible. Soon enough the boats will be launched and we'll be on our way to the island where Maven was buried. I shiver. I never thought I'd see him again and now that I am… I'd only just managed to cope with my guilt. Now I have to reopen only recently healed wounds. The logical part of me knows that he wasn't my brother anymore, in the end. However my heart keeps disagreeing. I can deny it as much as I like but we shared the same blood. We grew up together. All of that didn't just go away when he betrayed me, although it should have. He said it himself. He wasn't my brother anymore. I thought he could be saved for so long. It wasn't until I talked to him before announcing his execution that I finally accepted it. So if the occasion arises, I will kill him. And if he's laid a single finger on Mare, I will make it long and painful.</p><p>"Cal, we should actually talk about our plan here. We don't know what kind of defences Maven might have."</p><p>"Oh hello Farley, sorry, I was just… never mind." Where did Farley come from? I stand up straighter, "You're right. I've made contact with the Nortan naval fleet, they're preparing as we speak, and with Montfort's contribution, we have fifty ships at our disposal. That's the equivalent of forty-five squadrons with approximately thirty soldiers to each squad. My maths may be off but that should come to about 1350 soldiers."</p><p>"Is that enough?"</p><p>"It has to be. Tiraxes, Piedmont and the Prairie lands won't negotiate."</p><p>"Well," she shrugs, "wars have been won with less. We just need to figure out how to best use the resources we have."</p><p>"I was thinking we send a group of scouts ahead and see what we'll be met with when we arrive. Maven could have his own army. Probably in the thousands."</p><p>"Good thinking. We'll send up a skeleton team of five."</p><p>"Five? I was thinking twenty."</p><p>"Too dangerous, they'll get spotted and we can't help them if that happens."</p><p>"Ten then. They need to be able to defend themselves."</p><p>"Six."</p><p>"Eight."</p><p>"Seven."</p><p>"Deal."</p><p>"Pleasure negotiating with you." She smiles then leans toward me.</p><p>"Barrow's a tough one you know. We got her back once, we'll get her back again."</p><p>I nearly tell Farley that Mare barely made it last time. She didn't come back the same and I don't know how she'll come back, if at all, from having to go through that again but I decide against it.</p><p>"Thank you… General." I say instead. She rolls her eyes.</p><p>"Don't start."</p><p>"Would you prefer I call you Diana?"</p><p>Her nostrils flare. I take it she doesn't appreciate my sense of humour.</p><p>"Don't. Call. Me. Diane. Ever."</p><p>"Alright alright, I'm sorry. Forgive me." I nervously chuckle, peering out to the horizon now a deep shade of purple. A bruise starting to bloom across the sky. "It's getting dark. The team will be better protected if they go soon."</p><p>She nods in agreement.</p><p>"I'll lead them."</p><p>"Farley it's too dangerous, we need you with us, for the final battle." What is she thinking? She's one of our best strategists and fighters. Her squared shoulders tell me she won't back down.</p><p>"I'll be back by then."</p><p>I can't help but be concerned.</p><p>"But what if you get injured? What if-"</p><p>"Cal. I'm not asking for permission. Don't make me pull rank."</p><p>"I understand but please reconsider." Surely she can see that this isn't a good idea. I know I can't force her to stay. Like she said, she outranks me. She is technically in charge of this operation after all. Especially since once I got the groundwork for the Nortan State system, I swore I'd stay out of politics (including helping the Scarlet Guard). But that doesn't mean I have to agree with her.</p><p>"Believe me when I say I've given it a lot of thought. Don't forget that I was the leader of the Scarlet Guard when the rebellion finally won. Trust me, I'm the right person for this job."</p><p>"That's fair." I concede knowing I'm not going to win this argument, "But please be safe. I mean, do you even have people in mind?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And you trust them?"</p><p>"With my life."</p><p>I sigh. "Fine. I don't know what you'll meet when you get there so just make sure your radio is turned on. And be back by sunrise the day after tomorrow. I don't know when we'll start fighting."</p><p>"I'll send you updates every two hours and get the fishermen to give us one of their boats, less conspicuous that way. And if we can, we'll get Mare back. Hopefully without fighting. I should go now, we can't waste any time."</p><p>"Agreed. I suppose I should wish you luck?"</p><p>"Don't believe in it, don't need it. However," She starts, "if anything happens to me-"</p><p>"It won't." I can't entertain that thought or we'll end up going to the island to rescue Mare without being prepared. It'd be a death trap.</p><p>"If anything happens to me," she tries again, "tell Clara I love her. And that I was brave."</p><p>"You can tell her yourself when you get back." Because she will come back.</p><p>"I mean it Cal." Her eyes sparkle with tears. I think it's the closest I've ever seen her come to crying.</p><p>"If anything happens to you… I'll raise her like my own." I mean it. Clara is Mare's niece. As far as I'm concerned, that makes her my family.</p><p>"Thank you. I can't think of anyone better to take care of her. See you on the other side Cal."</p><p>With an awkward handshake she leaves and I'm left to watch the Sun as it disappears behind the horizon.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. W for Waiting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes I know this chapter is short but I needed to write something quickly so... here it is. The next chapter will be longer I promise.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This is Lamb. Just arrived. No guards in sight. All good so far."</p><p>The radio crackles as I catch Farley's code name. All good so far. Hopefully we can keep that up. Still, I can't help worrying about them getting caught. Running my fingers through my hair, I turn to my battle plans. Whenever I start to worry, strategising always seems to help. But there are hundreds of strategies laid out before me with endless possibilities and tactics, and I know not one of them will fool Maven. He knows me too well. He probably already knows which one I'm going to use, and I haven't even picked one yet. All I can hope for is more and more information from Farley to narrow down my choices.</p><p>Throughout the night, more messages arrive over the radio system bringing little shreds of hope and usefulness with them. Unfortunately by the time the Sun's first rays peak through the office window, I'm no closer to knowing how to get Mare back.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. R for Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Farley POV</p><p>I grudgingly wake up as the Sun rises. Every second counts, I tell myself, though it offers little motivation. My team and I stayed up late scouting and looking for soldiers or any hint of weapons or camps but we didn't manage to find anything. Time is starting to run short. We need to be back this time tomorrow!</p><p>"Wake up everyone!" I yell, and kick Tyton who's in the next sleeping bag.</p><p>"Five more minutes…" he groans, still half-asleep. I give him another shove and this time he's up.</p><p>"You really didn't have to do that you know."</p><p>"Really? Because I think I did. Come on everyone, let's make today successful. We're doing a round of the island in pairs. Terrence and Morritan, you'll search the East side. Reese and Tyton, you two search West. Cameron and Kilorn go South and I'll go North. Be back by Sun down."</p><p>"Is that wise, going alone?"</p><p>Morritan has some nerve. I scoff in reply.</p><p>"Are you questioning me?"</p><p>At least he has the decency to look sheepish. "No, of course not."</p><p>"Good, now go do your job while I send an update. Kilorn, I need you for a second."</p><p>After talking to Kilorn I set off on my journey. The next few hours pass much the same. Hacking and cutting down trees and bushes. I have to give Maven some credit. A jungle is the perfect cover. I can barely see anything through the thick trees and the sticky mud is enough to slow any enemies down. After a while it gets less wet, then more fine until eventually I see grains of sand littered on the ground. With the sound of waves rolling not far away, it's safe to assume I must be near a beach. Then, as if carried by the waves, I hear voices fast approaching.</p><p>"Well she must have really loved her brother to do that for him."</p><p>"You'd think since he's died once already she wouldn't really care. If you ask me, she was very stupid."</p><p>"Yeah but you know how Maven is with Mare, he's obsessed with her. And she obviously cares about her brother a lot. What was his name again? Shadow? Darkness?"</p><p>Mare's brother… died already… but it couldn't be. Yet they could only be talking about…</p><p>"Shade." I step out from the cover of the trees and am glad when the two soldiers' eyes widen in shock, "Now would either of you like to tell me where my lover's sister is being kept?" They look at each other, confused, then back to me, "No? Alright, suit yourselves."</p><p>My record for tying someone up is 27 seconds. I managed to take care of these two in 23. I'd like to think if my father actually cared about me, he'd be proud right now. Or at least he'd appreciate the improved efficiency. The only problem now was getting them to talk. I unsheathe my knife and step forward purposefully.</p><p>"You are going to tell me where Mare Barrow is being kept or I'm going to slowly cut pieces of you off until there's nothing left."</p><p>"If we tell you, they'll torture us." The guard has muscles that bulge out of his uniform t-shirt like two large oak trees, he shouldn't be quaking-in-his-boots scared of Maven. Oh well, time to use an age-old trick.</p><p>"One… don't make me get to three. And I promise I can torture people a lot better than that deluded psychopath of a boy. Two. Do you think I'm joking?" I start shouting.</p><p>To give them a little taste of what I can do, I grab Mr Muscle's hand and slice off the tip of his finger. He screams while the other (another young man, with a chiselled jaw) whimpers.</p><p>"Ok! Ok! She's at the castle." He says. Maven definitely needs better soldiers. They may be pretty but they sure ain't smart.</p><p>"Thank you." I smile, "And don't worry about his finger. I only cut the tip. Keep it clean and it'll grow back in no time."</p><p>They remain silent.</p><p>"Did I hear a thank you?"</p><p>"Why would we-" I kick Mr Chisel-Jaw in the balls. "Thank you." He squeaks out.</p><p>"That's better."</p><p>I pat Mr Muscle down (only to find a map, I promise) and eventually find one in his back pocket. Opening it up, lines snake across the page illuminating a path to the castle. I should have plenty of time to get there if I move fast. I give the guards a mock salute and run to find the path on the map. More hacking of trees and bushes later, I finally reach the beach that I heard the waves washing onto earlier. There's a coastal path leading directly to the castle. Perfect. I begin my trek, with twists and turns, staying close to the sides at all times. When I can, I move into the trees just next to it, in case anymore soldiers come. At one point it forks into three but I take the left, knowing the map says that it's the right way. Knowing every step could get me closer to Mare. I might even rescue her which is much more than I was expecting to do on this mission.</p><p>I go on like this, constantly ducking behind trees, jogging when I can bear it, dodging the odd soldier. Then I emerge into a clearing and suddenly, there it is in all its monstrous glory. Your standard, dark gothic castle with turrets, a large tower in the centre and presumably dungeons underneath, complete with a tyrant for an inhabitant.</p><p>Hugging close to the cover of the trees, which I'm sure are the only reason I haven't been caught yet, I circle it to find an entrance. I can't go through the main entrance but with a bit of searching I manage to locate a hidden passageway obscured behind a bunch of vines. I cut them down and kick the grate. The bolts holding it are old and rusty so the kick opens it as easily as a Silver using their powers.</p><p>As I step forward to start crawling through the tunnel, a blanket of dust coating the floor is disturbed and flies into my nostrils, making me sneeze. It must have been centuries since someone used this passageway. I turn on my flashlight and keep going. It seems like I'm twisting and turning around corners, even coming around full circle sometimes, for hours before I hear the clanking of chains just on the opposite side of the wall. This is an old building, and an unstable one. I feel for any loose rocks in the wall and pull, causing them all to tumble at once. As they clatter to the ground, I'm not sure what's louder. The rocks or my beating heart, because there, staring right at me, is a face I'd given up on seeing again long ago. It's beaten up, bloody and bruised but it's his.</p><p>"Farley?" He croaks.</p><p>"Shade?" I swallow. "Is it really you?" 'Tell me I'm not dreaming, tell me this is real.' I pray silently to the gods.</p><p>"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He's speaking so I can't be imagining it. Can I? I pinch myself and it jolts me into action. I pepper his bloody face with kisses.</p><p>"Wish I could say the same about you." I pull away as he winces. "What did they do to you? Give me names and I'll bring you their heads on a platter. Whoever did this to you, I'll make them wish they were dead." I grit my teeth. I clench my fists to stop them from shaking.</p><p>"It doesn't matter." Shade's voice wavers. "Thomas brought me back. He has complete control over everything I do. I'm dangerous now. You have to promise me you won't hesitate when the moment comes ok? Promise."</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"An army of the dead. An unkillable force, 10 000 strong, to wipe out the entire continent. The other countries don't stand a chance. And Mare and I, we're part of it now."</p><p>"Are you telling me that Maven is using you and Mare as soldiers?" I say through gritted teeth. I then unleash a series of curses. "You've been through too much to be his puppet. It's not fair." How dare Maven think he can do this. If I ever see that son of a bitch…</p><p>"It's not." He shakes his head then meets my eyes. "But there is one good thing to come out of it. I got to see you again. I get a proper goodbye."</p><p>"You're not saying goodbye. I only just found you again. Don't you dare come back to me after everything we had to go through just to leave me again." My voice cracks. Tears prick my eyes not in sadness but in anger. I'm angry at Thomas. Angry at Maven. Angry that I have to lose Shade twice. He looks on the verge of breaking too, but with the bruises blooming like flowers all over his face, it's hard to tell.</p><p>"It's not up to me. Hey, don't cry. I can't wipe your tears away in these chains. Listen, look at me, I've had my time, and I'd gladly do it all again, ok? There's no reason to be upset. We all go eventually. Just tell me, how's Clara?" He cleverly changes the subject.</p><p>"She's a lot like you." I say through wiping the tears away.</p><p>"So she got the good-looking genes?" Trust Shade to make a joke through all of this. Even though his smile looks more like a grimace, I thank for universe for small miracles. Small victories of the human spirit.</p><p>"She's beautiful. Our beautiful baby girl Shade."</p><p>"I'm sorry I won't get to see her. Make sure she knows who her father was ok? She's part of my legacy, I want to make it a good one." The resignation in his voice, the blatant acceptance, is crushing. But there's very little time to ponder it as the sound of footsteps approaching comes from what I'm guessing is a corridor outside the cell door. "You need to go now. And remember, get rid of Thomas as soon as you can. Otherwise it's all over."</p><p>"But how can we kill someone who's unkillable?" I say while trying to free him. He may have accepted his fate but I haven't.</p><p>"If you kill Thomas, the army is finished but you lose Mare. You need to persuade him to let her stay. Then kill that bastard. Burn his body, sprinkle the ashes as far away as possible. Just like those vampire stories." It's not working, I can't get him out, I need to keep trying, I need to- "Farley stop. It's no use. You need to go. If anything happened to you, and Clara was left without both of her parents, I'd never forgive myself." I take his raw hands into mine.</p><p>"I don't want to leave you with them." It's a half-whimper, half-cry.</p><p>"You have to. Please. One of us has to make it. For Clara." I hate that he's right. I hate that I have to go. I hate the gods for being so cruel.</p><p>"I love you. So much." I reach a hand to his face and he leans into it.</p><p>"I love you too. Always have, and I always will. We'll see each other again you know. There's no escaping it. We're for eternity, you and I."</p><p>I kiss him one last time, the goodbye that we never got, and run. The years we knew each other fitted into a few small seconds. That is all the eternity I could hope for. But like all things good, it can't last. He's the first to pull away. I step back, photographing his face and locking it into my memory forever.</p><p>I run back to the passageway, my only exit. No time to close it up. My only hope is being quick enough that they don't catch me. In about five seconds I've gone down two of the corridors I came through and I hear the guards entering the cell clearly.</p><p>"Is our friend ready for… well I'll be damned. Who've you been talking to Red scum? Al, run down there, see if you can catch up to them. I'm going to have a little talk with our prisoner here."</p><p>"Sorry fellas, you're too late." There's the man I fell in love with. He's still there. There's still hope.</p><p>I bite my lip to prevent the tears welling up. Again. Shade doesn't deserve this. Which is why I need to make it. For him. Because there's still hope.</p><p>There's crashing and shouting not far behind me but I won't let them catch me. I'm fast. I'm in control. At least that's what I'm telling myself. It's hard to navigate in the dark but there's no time to find my flashlight. I dance the steps I know too well around corner after corner until there, in the distance, a speck of light. It gets bigger and bigger, closer and closer until the light hits me like a wall. Literally, like a wall. I can't get outside. Why can't I… oh. I turn around. The soldier, I'm guessing Al, is holding the hood of my jacket.</p><p>No time to think. Survival instincts kick in. I use his grip on me to flip myself over his head until I'm on his shoulders. The momentum makes him sway but still he claws at me. At some point he unsheathes a dagger. I dig my fingers into his eyes and he yells falling to the ground before he can swing it. And brings me with him. I recover quickly and grab my bag to run away but he's persistent and grabs my arm first. In hindsight, there's probably a lot of things I could have done but in the moment, I do the only thing I can think of. I bite him.</p><p>"Ah! You crazy bit-" And kick his legs for good measure. There's a satisfying crack mixed in with his howling which must mean I've broken one of his bones. He looks a mess, using his arms to lug his body after me with blood dripping from his eyes. He's blinded.</p><p>No time to be relieved. I sprint as fast as my lungs will let me. It's not until the burning eases up once I've gone a safe enough distance to stop that I realise there's something red and sticky dripping from the sleeve of my jacket. Not sure whether I want to, I roll up the sleeve. The gash is deep. Definitely going to need stitches if infection doesn't get me first. I keep trudging, not daring to stop, until I find the beach I passed on my way here. Salt water's meant to be good for wounds right? Either way, I can't leave it like this. I rush towards the sea and dip my arm into the biting water. If it weren't causing such pain, I'd say it was nice and cool. The gash looks a lot better once it's been washed and the pain subsides. That is, until I rip my sleeve to wrap it up. A red spot seeps through the bandage but my arm's not bleeding heavily enough to kill me. I should hurry though.</p><p>I keep jogging until I reach the camp. By the time I get there, the sky's an inky black that's swallowed the stars. My team has lit a fire which means Maven'll know our location. Best get packing. Kilorn appears from behind a tent with a bundle of firewood in his arms.</p><p>"Farley! We were worried about you. Are you ok? Did you find anything?" Kilorn asks. Is it just me or is everything swirling?</p><p>"Talk about it later. Need stitches. Need to leave." I fall to the floor. He drops his firewood.</p><p>"Quick, she's hurt." I hear him call. "Don't just stand there, get the med kit! Farley, look at me, you're gonna make it. Stay with me. Stay with…" Nothing.</p><p>Dreams. Voices. Pictures. Shade. I open my eyes. My arm hurts. The floor's still swaying underneath me. I recognise the bed I'm in. It's the one on the boat we took to the island. We're on the boat. We're returning to Norta.</p><p>"Hey. You're awake." Kilorn is at my bedside.</p><p>"Yeah. Hey do you know how long I've been out?" Maybe yesterday was all just a horrible dream and we just returning to the Nortan States because we reached Cal's deadline.</p><p>"Couple of hours. We got you stitched up but I wouldn't try moving too much. Rest." That's my cue to do the exact opposite. The confirmation that yesterday was real tears my heart to shreds. But I need to store the heartache away until later when there's time to mourn. Time, for mourning and resting especially, is a privilege I can't afford right now.</p><p>"Like hell I will. What did I say before I passed out?" I don't like how soft my voice is and something's itching my arm but I can't scratch it, there's tubes in the way. I notice they lead to an IV drip.</p><p>"We needed to leave, you needed stitches. That was it really. Anyway we left. Maven will know we were there but there's not much he can do about it now. The important thing is you're ok."</p><p>"You wasted an IV drip." It slowly comes back to me. "Hold on, I remember something. It's about Maven. He's going to march on the Nortan States with 10 000 soldiers he brought back from the dead." More importantly, I remember who told me that. 'Later' I remind myself.</p><p>"Shit." I'm glad he has the appropriate reaction. "How do you know all this?"</p><p>"I- I saw Shade. He told me and no, Mare wasn't with him. I know that's what you're going to ask next. Oh gods, I don't know what they did to him when I left… But there was something else." I skirt around thinking about him, I'm not ready yet, and instead sift through the memories I can handle. Then a lightbulb flickers somewhere on the surface of my brain. "With Thomas gone they'll disappear, so taking him out first is a priority. Then we've basically won."</p><p>"Well I'll be damned, even after death he still manages to save the day. He might not be dead though Farley, they might have kept him. We'll get him back when we get Mare back, don't worry. And Maven will pay. But in any case, it sounds like you've got a strategy, General." A wistful smile plays on his lips. There's some good news among the bad.</p><p>"Beginnings of one, yeah. Get me Cal." I sigh defeatedly, beginning to sit up before Kilorn softly puts a hand on my shoulder. I lie back down.</p><p>"He's waiting for us back in the harbour. In the meantime, you need to rest. You've been through a lot today. You deserve a break."</p><p>Begrudgingly, I comply. It's the smart thing to do. I'm no use to anyone in this state and there are worse things I could do. The bed linen is newly washed and soft. I find it increasingly difficult to resist melting into the safe haven of sleep.</p><p>"Farley, maybe you misheard."</p><p>I'm already missing that nap. We're back in the Nortan States and Cal is not taking the news very well. The morning Sun shines through the window into his temporary office, illuminating his confused, helpless and angry scowl. It's impressive how one facial expression can convey so many emotions.</p><p>"Definitely not." How could I forget that conversation?</p><p>"But that's ten to one! How are we going to beat them?" Cal asks incredulously. I try and reassure him.</p><p>"The odds don't matter if we get rid of Thomas before the fighting starts."</p><p>He pauses, massaging his temples for a few seconds before taking a deep breath.</p><p>"Ok, change of plan. We let them come to us. We know this part of the Nortan States like Julian knows his books. It'll serve to our advantage. Use the rest of the day to train, gather your weapons and boost morale. Tonight I need you all to rest well. Tomorrow, we go to war."</p><p>He stomps out of the room without a word, leaving us all solemnly standing silent.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. G for Gaslight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thomas POV</p><p>The clear blue sea of the island is getting more grey with pollution as we enter Nortan waters. Still, even in its filthy state the water is an advantage. Cal's weakness. I can almost picture them waiting in the harbour, blissfully unaware of what's to come. Soon Maven will seize control of the country that harbour leads to but for now, he's at the hull of the ship. The wooden boards creak beneath my feet and his face lights up as I approach.</p><p>"Thomas! There's my knight in shining armour. It's high time I said thank you, I owe you a great deal. Without you, none of this would have been possible."</p><p>That shouldn't make me feel as bad as it does. But I smile. He's in good spirits, which makes him dangerous. One wrong move and the switch flips instantaneously. The higher they are the harder they fall and all that… It's better if I keep him from flipping when he's like this.</p><p>"You know I wouldn't do it for anyone else."</p><p>He shrugs it off.</p><p>"Even so. And I should hope not. You're mine. Always."</p><p>"Of course. Always." I echo. He places both his hands on my shoulders.</p><p>"When the time comes, stay in the back. We can't give them a chance to get to you. You're too valuable."</p><p>"I'm touched." I say with a smirk. "I'm assuming you've thought about your first declaration as ruler?" He releases me and his eyes travel to whatever fantasy land he tends to reside in.</p><p>"Of course." He states matter of factly. "All the new bloods will serve me. They will submit themselves to me to be under my control. Well, yours, but I suppose it's the same thing."</p><p>"Oh. I see." More people to bring back from the dead. More people to kill in the first place.</p><p>"And," He continues, "Mare will be my personal assistant. Now there's something I can't wait for."</p><p>"I'll bet you can't. Your highness." I reply with a mock bow. It manages to retrieve him from his imagination before he gets lost to his fantasy. He furrows his brow for a moment and then his face softens.</p><p>"And obviously, my second declaration will be that you rule beside me."</p><p>"Ah. Right." I lift my head. "But tell me, will it be as your equal or as your second in command?"</p><p>I like to know where I stand. His mouth is set into a thin line.</p><p>"Does it matter? You'll be with me. And then we can finally be together. Forever." Case closed, it would seem. I try to diffuse the tension I've created.</p><p>"Well I do like the sound of that."</p><p>"I should hope so. All of this is for you after all." There's no humour in his voice. He won't look at me. I try and reach out.</p><p>"And I'm eternally grateful."</p><p>"How would you show it? If I asked you to, I mean."</p><p>I know the answer he's looking for.</p><p>"Any way you want me to."</p><p>He pauses and matches my grin.</p><p>"Look at you." He taunts, his voice as light as sieved flour, "So willing, so loyal."</p><p>He circles behind me.</p><p>"Like you said, I'm yours. Always."</p><p>"You are truly special." He whispers in my ear, "I'm never going to let you go. Do you want that Tommy? Do you want to be mine forever?"</p><p>"Yes Maven. You know I do."</p><p>"I do." He confirms. "But I just love to hear you say it."</p><p>Hours later I'm half-asleep in bed, he's holding me, the blankets sprawled across us with his breath a regular beat across the back of my neck.</p><p>"This is nice." I say lazily, turning around so I can see his face. Although death transformed it into something most people would find grotesque, to me there's a certain beauty that can easily be found if you care to dig deep enough. Those are the disfigurements of a man who found his love again after years of searching in the dark. The story of two young boys in the Rift. One of them screaming as the other was returned on a stretcher, already dead.</p><p>"Come on Thomas, I took you for an intellectual, you can do better than nice. Copacetic, gratifying perhaps. What we have is better than just nice." We look at each other for the longest time, memorising every feature, every imperfection. He runs his fingers through my hair. When he finally speaks again, it comes out so soft that I'm scared to breathe in case the sound gets carried away, a moment lost to us forever. "When I'm king, we could do this everyday if you want."</p><p>"Don't be silly." I give a halfhearted laugh. "You'll have your duties, responsibilities. There won't be time for me."</p><p>"I'll always make time for you."</p><p>"I know you'll certainly try. It's one of the reasons I love you." There's a sharp intake of breath as we both realise what I've said. I don't think I've ever said it explicitly before. But it seems right to say it now. Evidently Maven doesn't think so. He sits bolt upright.</p><p>"You had to ruin it."</p><p>"What?" I reply.</p><p>"You know what." He rolls his eyes. "You know I can't love you like you love me. You know I can only obsess."</p><p>"I don't mind being your obsession." We'd established long ago that this wasn't your typical romantic relationship, that Maven had acquired some emotional limitations since I'd last seen him.</p><p>"You will. Eventually you will."</p><p>"No, I won't. I'll never get sick of you. I'm yours, remember? Forever." I cup a hand to his cheek. He gently pushes it away and lies back down, facing away from me.</p><p>"It's ok, I know you didn't mean to make me upset. Or maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just messed up."</p><p>"No you're not. To me you're perfect, ok?" Silence. "I'm sorry. It's my fault, I should have known not to throw around the L-word." I apologise but I'm not sure there's much to be sorry for. I don't want to feel guilty for saying the truth.</p><p>"It's fine. Forget it." He mumbles.</p><p>"Oh. Ok."</p><p>I can't forget it. Don't get me wrong, I like defying his orders, playfully irritating him, but not hurting him. I roll over and sink like quicksand into uneasy sleep. As I fall, I ask myself when I started not to feel as safe as I used to with him. Scared to say how I feel.</p><p>"You should wake up Tommy." Maven announces as he snaps open the curtain, letting a little light in through our tiny porthole window.</p><p>"We're there already?" I mumble, still groggy. Even having just woken up I can tell he's giddy with the thought that today could be the day he takes over Norta, permanently claiming it as ours forever.</p><p>"Yes. Now are you ready my little secret weapon? We have my brother to kill and a kingdom to take over. Time is of the essence."</p><p>"Lemme put on my clothes first."</p><p>He's in another good mood today; I'm not even sure telling him I love him could ruin it. Not like yesterday. He presses a finger to his lips, making a big show of looking me up and down.</p><p>"If you insist."</p><p>I can't help but reply sarcastically.</p><p>"You're right, I should go into battle naked. That's a terrific idea."</p><p>"Well you wouldn't hear any complaints from me."</p><p>It's all I can do to roll my eyes. This boy is going to be the death of me I swear.</p><p>"Maven."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Stop flirting with me."</p><p>He practically skips in my direction, bringing his big beaming face with him.</p><p>"Only when you stop being good-looking, Tommy, but alas, I fear that day will never come."</p><p>He really is in a good mood. I personally don't think fratricide could make anyone happy but then again, Maven isn't just anyone.</p><p>"Funny." I deadpan.</p><p>"Ok I'll stop. Today's a big day. You need to stay safe and-"</p><p>"Out of sight I know."</p><p>"Of course you do." He grins. "And don't worry, I'm going to be with you the whole time. I'm not going to let anyone lay a single finger on you."</p><p>I believe that much.</p><p>"I know you won't. After all the people you had me kill and bring back to control in those explosions, it'd be a bit embarrassing if not one of them could defend me."</p><p>"Quite right." Then he seems to remember something. "Where's Mare? I'd like to see her before we begin."</p><p>"She's on the deck waiting to go with the others." I see he's already got his shoes on. "I'll see you later when we disembark then?"</p><p>"Yes. Don't keep me waiting."</p><p>"Now when have I ever done that?"</p><p>He closes what little distance there was between us.</p><p>"You're going to make me very happy when today's over." He whispers under his breath. "Just make sure you survive the battle."</p><p> </p><p>MAVEN POV</p><p>Her hair is still the same murky brown, her lips still soft and pink, her eyes are still the dark brown of rich soil and yet, it's not Mare. Where the electricity and life used to crackle, there's nothing. Her back is straight, her eyes unseeing. Just a vacant expression. Such a waste. Lucky I don't care for her anymore. Not now that I have Tommy. That doesn't mean I don't want to keep her though.</p><p>"Hello Mare. This must kill you. Is there even any of you left? That spark you once had, does it destroy you to know it's mine now? Mine to control."</p><p>Maybe I'm imagining it but her fingers seem to twitch.</p><p>"Perhaps there's still some of you in there. Enough to see your own body being used against you. But not enough to take it back. Yes, I think I like this new arrangement. I like this new arrangement very much. Ooh and before I forget, I've got a surprise for you. Your boyfriend Cal? I'm going to make him watch while you become my slave. Something you were never inclined to do when you were still, well, you. He will watch, for as long as I care to let him live, you serving me and not being able to do a thing about it. So get very comfortable because now that I have you, I'm not letting you go. Ever." I smile but something catches my eye. Something reflecting the light on Mare's face. I reach for it and my hand comes back slightly wet. A tear. She's crying.</p><p>"Oh Mare, for a girl who hides her emotions so well you really let this be the thing that finally breaks you? This. When it was destiny. When it was inevitable. Surely you knew that we'd end up together one way or another? Our fates are entwined, you see, and I'm not sure even the weight of all the stars in all of time could separate them apart."</p><p>She says nothing, Far off, the captain says we're ready to disembark. I turn to Mare.</p><p>"Have fun on the battlefield. Say hi to Cal for me. Oh… Never mind."</p><p>The fun has begun.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. F for Final</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading this fic, I hope the ending doesn’t disappoint anyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CAL POV</p><p>As the ships anchor themselves, the ground that is usually so reliable shakes beneath my feet. I knew it would be like this. I knew what we were up against but seeing it is a different agony altogether. The ships are gargantuan, definitely enough to hold ten, maybe twenty times what we could. When all is done, when the centuries have been marked with the blood spilled today and the victors have won, those ships will stand testament to the war we fought. Silent witnesses to the blood shed today.</p><p>This is our eleventh hour. More important than all that though, is Mare, wherever she is. Hell could open its doors, the devil invite us to tea and I'd resign myself to the fate he decides for me as long as I get her back. I'll give my life for her if I need to.</p><p>I swallow nervously as Maven's troops march forward. They are formidable, with weapons and armour I've never seen the likes of. The coal black of it contrasts with their pale faces making them appear luminescent, as if the fact that they're ghosts that can't be killed wasn't scary enough. They march in unison. Each step timed to the millisecond. I know they're being controlled by Thomas, but still, I can't help but be envious. Not even the best mortal general could get his soldiers marching that perfectly.</p><p>The ground trembles with each step, a Morse code spelling out our end. I decided long ago that I won't accept my ending helplessly. There's been too many sleepless nights and horrors endured for it to end without a fight. If destiny intends for me to die than so be it but it's going to be for something worth dying for. Or someone. Now's not the time to fear death, now is the time to look it in the eye and say, "These are my terms and conditions." Now is the time for action.</p><p>"Brothers! Sisters! Today we are heroes! Today we fight a tyrant and end him once and for all! We will show him that the time for fools and mad kings is over. Maven doesn't get to take our throne, our kingdom and declare himself leader as he forges a crown from the bones of the innocent! So are you going to let Maven take and destroy the core of who we are? Or are you going to show him the might of a people who will not let tyranny win in Norta?"</p><p>I hear cheers. I hear some people clang their swords against their shields. And I hear some people trying to hold back sobs. I can't do anything for them now. Maven's army is fast approaching. Farley's leading another group that's going to take them from behind. As I gaze upon Maven's militia looking for Mare, my breath hitches. In the centre of the army is Maven. He doesn't look like himself but it couldn't be anyone else. He's wearing red stripes on his black armour, true to form, and he's the only one riding a horse. My heart is racing. I'm not sure whether it's the adrenaline but it looks like he's smiling at me from underneath his helmet. I was alright up until now, but I feel bile rising in my throat. A figure is on the horse with him, most likely Thomas but it's hard to be sure. A finger taps my shoulder. It's Evangeline.</p><p>"You've got this Cal. We're going to win."</p><p>I breathe in deeply but it does little to settle my nerves.</p><p>"I can only hope you're right." I then turn and shout to the crowd. "On three we charge. One." Each second is a bottomless void. "Two." My muscles tense, knowing the next word is a death sentence. "Three!"</p><p>We charge, a tsunami crashing against a shore of black sand. People die, blood splatters, metal on metal groans like the agony of a thousand fires. Fires that burn deep in the bellies of everyone who is fighting here today. The Nymphs on our side use the water from the sea to take out some of the opposing soldiers, almost capsizing several ships in the process. Magnetrons, Evangeline included, rip the armour off the opposition's bodies and shape it into blades, sending them hurtling towards their previous owners, dismembering them. I use my powers to burn what I can. I need to look for Thomas. He's not hard to spot, because Maven's not hard to spot. Unfortunately, a large swathe of people are between my brother and me right now. 'He's not your brother anymore Cal' I have to remind myself.</p><p>I run, igniting everything and everyone in my path. If I could just get to him, I could end this. Then the sky erupts in purple. Lightening flashes, blowing people to bits. My heart leaps, I don't dare move in case I'm only dreaming. But I'm not. It happens again and again. She's here, she's alive.</p><p>I search for her. Where could the lightening be coming from? I keep looking. Something's wrong. Wherever she is, she's only striking our side. That can't be right. She'd never. As I get attacked from all angles, I'm forced to keep fighting, but I try and edge my way towards Thomas and Maven.</p><p>As I get closer, I can see for the first time just how outnumbered we are. Everything's happening so fast, for the first time I wonder whether the blood shed is worth it if we're going to lose anyway. Then I catch sight of him, the monster himself smiling triumphantly while shouting words I can't hear at Thomas who's buried in concentration. Trying to control the army. Maybe Mare's with him. That's all it takes. Just the thought of Mare, and I need to get nearer.</p><p>Someone collapses at my feet, the magnetrons on the other side are turning our weapons against us, shredding them and firing them at us like bullets. Each scream hits me like an earthquake, sending shock waves, tremors through my body. There's really not many of us left.</p><p>I barely have time to register that thought when the ground rumbles beneath my feet and lifts like a giant carpet rolling them in it. Maven's army must consist of some powerful Greenwardens. People run away before being engulfed by the uprooted grass or tangled in the overgrown roots. A cascade of green towering over us and I realise it's falling. I run but it's too late.</p><p>It crashes on top of me, crushing my bones, knocking the air from my lungs. Try as I might, I am unable to move. I get a mouth full of grass as I try to give one last cry, "I'm sorry Mare. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."</p><p>It's wasted breath because from behind, in front and my sides, cries start to echo. Quick hands dig me out and I sputter, brushing mud off my body, wondering who my saviour could be. I get my answer. Leading the team attacking from behind is Farley looking victorious, layered in blood.</p><p>I recognise the uniforms of the soldiers behind her. The Prairie Lands, Tiraxes and Piedmont. But how? They wouldn't negotiate. They wouldn't fight for us. Why suddenly decide now to act?</p><p>"Farley, but how?"</p><p>"I got Kilorn to send them radio messages while on the island. They took some convincing but eventually they realised having a power-hungry, egomaniac zombie running the kingdom next door might not be the best idea."</p><p>"Thank you, for everything."</p><p>"Don't mention it. Now let's kick Maven's ass back where it belongs."</p><p>Despite the exhaustion I keep going. Inches by inches I get closer and closer to Maven and Thomas. They sit back on their shared horse and observe the chaos. Maven never takes his eyes off me. I'm almost within shouting range when Maven and Thomas escape, riding off.</p><p>Thomas clicks his fingers behind him and I see a third figure mount a separate horse. She's all in black and her face is obscured but it's her. And she's riding with them. Oh no. No no no. Maven keeps turning his back, checking to see whether I'm watching. He wants me to follow him. Well I'm going to.</p><p>I grab a horse that just so happens to not have an owner and ride into what could not be a more obvious trap. I don't care.</p><p>It's a bumpy journey. The horse buckles and rears its head as it takes me continually further from the action. Away from the battle, only the faint rumbles of the Earth being pummelled and a dull roar from the fighters can be heard.</p><p>"Hello brother dear." My breath hitches. It's the first time I've seen him in a year. He looks hideous. Thomas and him stand side by side.</p><p>"Where is she, Maven?"</p><p>"I don't know who you're talking about."</p><p>"Don't play games."</p><p>He smiles. The sword at my side softens from what must be my body heat rising. I have to keep my powers in check.</p><p>"Oh Cal, playing games is what I do best."</p><p>"What have you done with Mare? If you've hurt a single hair on her head I will send you back to the depths from where you crawled out from, and Thomas too. I don't care about your powers, I'll find a way."</p><p>Thomas finally reacts, "Cal, wait."</p><p>"You can shut up. You're the cause of all this. Now where is she?"</p><p>"Right here Cal." Mare says from behind me.</p><p>I almost rush forward to kiss her but some hidden instinct tells me not to. Something's wrong. Her voice is too high, too forced. Her eyes have no life behind them. My heart hardens to lead and I want to sink into the ground underneath its weight. But I don't. Instead I propel myself forward to attack Thomas. Just as I'm about to swing my sword across his throat, Mare steps in front of me. She knows I won't hurt her. She lifts her arm and purple sparks leap from the sky, conducted by her sword. I just have time to jump away when she directs her electricity straight towards me. I know this isn't her, but it hurts.</p><p>"Mare, please. I know you're still in there. You have to fight him. I know you can."</p><p>Her eyes are revitalised, just for a moment. Thomas hasn't taken away her ability to articulate her thoughts.</p><p>"Cal, I can't. You need to go. I don't want to hurt you." What she says is in opposition to her actions, which right now are aiming to skewer me.</p><p>"You won't. I know you won't."</p><p>"I wouldn't be so sure of that. She's completely under my control remember? You should be glad to be able to speak to her before she becomes my slave and never speaks to you again. Or perhaps I will kill you after all. You're going to be a pain otherwise."</p><p>"I don't have a choice Cal. Run away. Please!" She screams as she manages to miss my chest, realising what her body is forcing her to do.</p><p>She lurches towards me again and swings the sword, ready to cut off my head. I duck just in time to avoid being decapitated. Before she swings again, I ignite my bracelet and use my powers to create a flame hot enough to melt her sword. She yelps as the metal melts in her hand and mercifully, Thomas allows her to drop it.</p><p>He quickly regains control and Mare's hands point towards the sky where dark storm clouds are circling above. The Heavens have decided to open fire as rain comes crashing down. It takes too long for me to realise what she's about to do as purple streaks slash the clouds and land a mere few feet in front of me.</p><p>If only she wasn't in the way, I'd be able to burn Maven and Thomas right now. They know that, of course. They know exactly what they're doing putting her in front of them, using her as nothing more than a shield like the cowards they are.</p><p>I run to her left to see if I can get to them but a wall of lightening strikes in front of me, closer this time. My luck is going to run out. I can see Mare's doing what she can to avoid toasting me alive but for how much longer, I can't say. I run the other way, again there's a wall of lightening.</p><p>Then I look at her face, so determined to kill me, full of hatred. If I didn't know better I'd think she truly, deeply despised me. The only way to win this is to go through her but to do that, I'd need to hurt her. And I won't. Not now, not ever. When you're in a fight against someone you love, there's only one thing to do. Lose.</p><p>"Alright , I surrender. Kill me."</p><p>"Cal. What are you doing?" Her face has softened for a moment and I'm thankful I can say my last words to her while she's still, well, her.</p><p>"I can't kill you. I won't. So that leaves only one option."</p><p>"No I-"</p><p>"It's ok Mare."</p><p>I hug her. I kiss her. I'm surprised Maven is allowing this, probably only because he knows it's hurting Mare. Tears are streaming down her face. Tears are streaming down mine. There are worse ways to die than holding the one you love.</p><p>"Don't you dare feel guilty about this." I lean in and whisper. "One day, you're going to break free from him and you're going to have a great life. Marry someone you love, maybe have kids, get a nice house and a great job, learn new things and maybe even travel. Think of me from time to time, but not too much. If you can do that for me, I'll be happy." She would be shaking if Thomas didn't have such firm control over everything but her face.</p><p>Maven glares at me. I'd expect him to be happy, instead he looks bored.</p><p>"Goodbye Cal. It's time to extinguish the flame and let the shadow take its place."</p><p>I glare back at him, on my knees now.</p><p>"I hope it's worth it. And Thomas?" He looks up. "Just remember the monster you're in love with."</p><p>Mare walks solemnly towards Maven who hands her his own sword. How fitting. She walks towards me, each step agonisingly slow, the fear in her eyes intensifying. Eventually, with tears in her eyes, she's within reach. With quivering hands she lifts it over my head and gives a final grunt as she thrusts the sword. And misses.</p><p>Maven shouts at Thomas in disbelief.</p><p>"I thought you had control of her?"</p><p>There's such hate in his eyes.</p><p>"I'm- I'm sorry Maven."</p><p>"You're useless. What happened? Why did you let her miss?"</p><p>"I didn't mean to, I just couldn't let her kill him like that."</p><p>"You're weak. I was the only one to trust you with an opportunity to do something useful with your life and you've wasted it. You will try again but first…"</p><p>It all happens very quickly. Maven reaches his hand towards Thomas to slap him. It stops in midair. Maven shouts in outrage. Thomas shuts Maven's mouth. He looks so sad. And guilty. Meanwhile I'm getting over the shock of still being alive.</p><p>"I'm sorry Maven. I'm so sorry."</p><p>He turns to us, his face flushed pink with embarrassment.</p><p>"He didn't mean it. It's the heat of the battle, he's just stressed. He didn't mean it. He would never hurt me."</p><p>He mustn't be sure because his lapse in concentration causes his control of Mare to slip. Just a bit.</p><p>Mare wriggles her fingers experimentally and drops all her weapons to the floor. I run to pick them up before he can force her to fight again. I clear my throat.</p><p>"Thomas, he just did. And it's only going to get worse. He's too damaged. I know you want to believe you can fix him but his mother… even the most resilient of people couldn't make it through what she did, and come out redeemable. I know you don't want to see him that way but you could love him with everything you have and it still wouldn't be enough. I should know, I loved him more than anyone. He was my brother. If there was anything left of the Maven we both knew, I wouldn't be fighting against him. Trust me, the slaps, the little comments that put you down, that control you, they will just escalate to full on violence. It only ends with you leaving." I turn to Mare. She nods. The people Maven obsesses over never get a happy ending if they give him what he wants.</p><p>"I can't. He's all I've got."</p><p>"That's not true. You have us." Says Mare.</p><p>"No one else will love me though."</p><p>"What about you? Can you love yourself?"</p><p>He thinks about it for a moment.</p><p>"You deserve so much better Thomas. You are a good person. You saved my life. Please let us help you. It's not too late to make this right."</p><p>She knows the road to redemption better than most.</p><p>"Don't listen to him, he's misleading you. This is the only way we can be together Tommy. You're a killer, same as me. I'm the only one who will accept you now. Be with me. I need you. I love you."</p><p>Something clicks in Thomas' brain and it's as if someone has taken a blindfold off of him.</p><p>"No you don't. Maybe you did once, but not anymore. You turned our love into a game for your own amusement and guess what, I don't want to play anymore."</p><p>Suddenly Maven's eyes widen in raw, paralysing fear. As much as I hate Thomas, I am in awe. He's the only person I've seen who's managed to evoke that emotion from Maven.</p><p>"I have blood on my hands thanks to you and nothing can change that. Maybe I am beyond redemption, but I can still stop more people from dying which is why I'm going to have to say goodbye Maven. I always loved you." He pauses. "And I was a fool to think that after what your mother did you could ever love me back."</p><p>Thomas waves his hand and the ghost of the boy that will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life fades away into oblivion along with the rest of his army. In the distance, just as Maven does in front of me, they turn to smoke. Their blood-freezing screams echo in my ear long after they're carried away on the wind. Thomas turns to me.</p><p>"So much blood shed and it's all my fault. I can't live in this world, not after everything I've done." He unsheathes a dagger concealed in his jacket and I'm confused. I don't understand how he's going to end his life if he's immortal.</p><p>"But you can't die in it either. You let me stay, surely that means something." Mare says.</p><p>It occurs to me for the first time that she won't try and kill me so I go forward and hug her waist, planting a kiss on her forehead.</p><p>"This. This is true love. I knew Maven didn't love me like that but I thought he at least valued me. I was intentionally blind to all the signs that he didn't. I watched as he commanded an army that I had resurrected and look at the price hundreds of innocent people payed. I don't deserve to live. That's why, once I do this, you're going to burn my body. It might not work but it's the only option left."</p><p>"You don't have to do this you know."</p><p>"I wish that were true."</p><p>"Look, I know what it's like to be manipulated by Maven, people will forgive you." Mare tries to persuade him.</p><p>The words are hard to hear. A part of me wants to be included in the people that would forgive him but I know that will never be the case. He gave Maven no choice but to turn into a monster and then just when I thought I was rid of him for good, Thomas brought him back, forcing Mare to spend the rest of her life trying to recover from yet another trauma. He reads the resentment in my face and shakes his head.</p><p>"If you can't forgive me, Cal, no one can. Goodbye."</p><p>Mare tries to stop him before he plunges the dagger into his heart but it's too late. I see the light leave his eyes. This boy was a victim of Maven just like Mare was. He didn't choose this path, I know that much. I know he was manipulated, moulded into the shape Maven chose for him, held against his will by a love for a monster that could never be requited in the same way. However, everything he said was true. A lot of blood was on his hands and what he did with Shade was torturous. I don't know what to feel. Perhaps I never will.</p><p>"Cal we can't just let him die. Take him back to the camp, he'll be awake soon."</p><p>Mare is kinder than I could ever hope to be. I won't say no to her.</p><p>"Do you think it's worth it? What he did-"</p><p>"Was terrible, but I've done terrible things, so have you. It doesn't mean he deserves this. I want to work with him, show him there's a better way."</p><p>"Well I'm not going to argue with you."</p><p>So I carry him in a fireman's lift all the way back to the battlefield where our soldiers are mumbling in confusion, perplexed at what just happened. I can't imagine it made much sense from their perspective. From the crowd, Farley makes her way through to us.</p><p>"Cal what's going on? It's good to see you Barrow." She smiles and shakes her hand. "I knew you'd make it."</p><p>"We've won General." I let it sink in.</p><p>A wave of relief rushes over the crowd over hushed whispers which grow louder into cheers. Farley enjoys the victory for a moment before she's shouting.</p><p>"Stop it, the lot of you. Get the injured back to the infirmary, there's still a lot of work to do. Then we can celebrate." She observes Thomas in my arms. "Do you want the Healers to fix this one too?"</p><p>I look between him and Farley, "This one will fix himself but he is going to need a bed."</p><p>"I think we can manage that."</p><p>The day follows and passes. There's parties, and drinking. Treaties are made between the different countries. And Mare and I steal away to get some fresh air under the stars. As we close the door behind us I run and pick her up, twirling her in the air like she's the world, because to me she is.</p><p>"I was so scared I was going to lose you again back there."</p><p>"And I thought I was going to lose you. I almost killed you Cal." She sounds like she can't believe it.</p><p>"Almost. But I'm glad you didn't."</p><p>Nothing more needs to be said on the matter. There is one thing on my mind though.</p><p>"He killed you. I mean, you actually died Mare."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I can't forgive him for that."</p><p>"I don't expect you to."</p><p>I bring her closer. Quite frankly it's a miracle that she's here, with me, right now.</p><p>"I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't brought you back."</p><p>She looks at me intensely.</p><p>"But he did. He let me live. I'm alive. We can't worry about what might have been."</p><p>"You're right. It's over Mare. I get that it's going to take a while for us to find our new normal but… it's over."</p><p>"How do you feel? He was your brother, after all."</p><p>I shake my head.</p><p>"Whoever that monster was, it had killed Maven a long time ago. He wasn't my brother. And he hurt you so it really isn't a question."</p><p>"I'm going to need some time to cope with what he did to me." Please. Not again. She sees the panic in my face and smiles. A simple gesture that must take a lot of effort given what she's just been through. "Don't worry. I plan on spending that time with you."</p><p>"I'd like that."</p><p>We sit there for a while, not saying anything, just holding each other close. She snuggles against my chest almost asleep. I could stay like this forever. It's the perfect moment. Before Kilorn shatters it.</p><p>"Thomas is awake and he’s got some big news. Mare, you’re gonna want to hear this."</p><p>It's ok. They'll be plenty of others.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. E for Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this is the end. Thank you all for sticking with the story. I hope you enjoyed reading this. I figured the Red Queen characters deserved a happy ending so here goes… I hope you like it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mare POV</p><p>Our children play by the river, surrounded by snow-dusted mountain tops and the Sun making the water sparkle. They're trying to convince Cal to get in and join them. I laugh, they've got no chance. In an effort to distract them and save himself from going in, he crouches down.</p><p>"How about I do this instead?"</p><p>He flickers his burner bracelet and grows the fire, changing it's shape for each child.</p><p>For our daughter Coriane, a lion. For our son Shade, a raven. And last but in no way least, a bear for our adopted daughter, Malissa. They quickly get entranced by the dancing figures and lose interest in getting him into the water. He hands over the fire to Shade who plays with it while Coriane gets bored and tries to light a light bulb she found earlier. Malissa looks intensely at the both of them, mesmerised by their powers. I catch Cal's eyes and smile as he breathes a sigh of relief.</p><p>"You can't keep them distracted forever you know." I tell him.</p><p>"I can try." He looks me up and down. "How are the meetings going?"</p><p>"Thomas is doing a lot better. He's leaving tomorrow to sail the world. He thinks he'll find a new one."</p><p>"You never know. Speaking of, the Nortan States, Piedmont, Tiraxes and the Prairie Lands are all having a meeting with Kilorn to discuss combining into one big country to take the last few miles from the Lakelands. It's a metaphor or something."</p><p>"Well I wouldn't be surprised. Kilorn's getting quite good at this whole Premier thing."</p><p>Premier Davidson had retired a few months ago and Kilorn had stepped up almost immediately.</p><p>"I don't envy him. Politics is tough." Cal shakes his head.</p><p>"Well we've definitely had our fill that's for sure." I laugh and breathe in the fresh mountain air.</p><p>"I hate to leave but we really should be getting ready. I want to be there when they land."</p><p>"Shade and Farley have been living in the Nortan States forever. You don't seriously think I'd make you late for their return, do you?" Cal replies. </p><p>It’s still hard to believe that he made it, after everything he went through, Thomas let both of us live. I’ll never forget finding him on the battle field, the only ghost not to have vanished. Apart from me but I suppose Thomas owed me that since he was the one that killed me. </p><p>"No, I know. I just want to get there before the rest of the family."</p><p>Our words contradict our actions as we both sit down together, holding each other, watching our kids' silly antics. It's probably going to make us late but they're splashing and playing and laughing, something I never had. I wonder whether history remembers these moments. Of course they'll know about the battles that were fought and the people that died but the truly happy moments, the ones that matter, aren't written on paper or set in stone. They're passed down in memory. I just hope my children don't forget this memory.</p>
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